Eternal Bliss and Dead Life
by sweet little nothing
Summary: This takes place after new moon. See how Bella's and Edward's relationship will develop and if they are able to solve their three little problems . . . R
1. moving, visitors and left again?

**AN:** This is the story based on the idea of my oneshot 'Key to Souls'. So it has some songs in it. Read, enjoy and REVIEW!

ATTENTION! NEW MOON FANFIC ! CONTAINS SPOILERS! just thought I'd tell you...

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and New Monn aren't mine, all Stephenie Meyer's, sorry. I don't own any of the songs used in my fic, either.

Note: I am too lazy to write a disclaimer for every chapter, so this one is for every chapter of my story.

* * *

"Bella, please hurry up or we will be late," the voice of my Angel sounded through the bathroom door. I really doubted that with his driving anyone could be late even if you started one minute before school began. I opened the door and tried to hurry, only to run straight into something solid.

"Ouch!" I stepped back and recognised that I hadn't run into the wall, like I had thought, but straight into Edward's body. I looked up at his concerned face and started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" He asked, obviously thinking I had hit my head too hard.

"I thought I had run into the wall, but it was you!"

"Oh, well, the next time I'll just step aside if you prefer the wall …" He knew how to get his way with me. I was immediately serious.

"Honestly, Edward, there's nothing I'd rather run into than you." Edward didn't respond, but carried me down into the kitchen where I grabbed an apple and headed outside to his car.

I sat down at the passenger's seat and looked at Edward. I gaped. He was shining like a diamond. Again. But he couldn't go to school looking like this…

"Um, Edward,…I don't know if you recognised, but you are glittering again…" That must have sounded unbelievably stupid, but he just took my hand and looked me in the eyes. I knew he could see the fear of him not being there every moment and I started blushing again.

"It's just now. The sun won't really come out until after school and then we'll drive straight to our house." He smiled that crooked smile that I loved so much and the next moment he had me standing outside the car. We walked straight to our first class: English. It wasn't that bad, though, because I had now every class except Spanish, Trig and Gym with him, and in these classes I had Alice with me. So I practically sat beside a Cullen all day, which was kind of necessary, for I really appreciated their help. Once in a Trig test Alice had answered three questions for me, in my handwriting, thanks to her drawing abilities. We never told Edward, since we both knew he wouldn't like it.

Four incredibly boring lessons later I walked with Alice from Spanish to the cafeteria, where Edward was already waiting for us. When we reached him, he engulfed me in a hug and kissed me passionately while around us a crowd was forming. Only when Alice coughed softly, I realised that we were standing right in front of the door to the building. I blushed furiousely while we pulled back and entered the cafeteria. Edward got me a tray of food and we sat down at our usual table with Alice and our, well, my other friends.

"Hey, Ed, did you hear the news?" Alice asked enthusiastically. Edward's eyes went distant for a moment; he seemed to be listening to various thoughts. Then he started grinning like a maniac. They immediately started talking, but so quick and fast I couldn't hear.

"What's going on? Guys? Would anyone please bother telling me what is going on?" I asked, but they were in a private conversation that was unfotunately a vampire talk so I couldn't hear a word.

Angrily I took the rest of my pizza and walked over to Jessica, Angela and Mike where I had spotted an empty seat. I sat down and they looked up in surprise.

"Hi! I just thought I'd step by, what's going on here?"

"Hey, Bella, did you hear the news?" Angela asked.

"No, what news?" Hopefully they would tell me these news, everyone was talking about.

"There is going to be a school play. Romeo and Juliet. The tryouts are on Friday, say in two days." Mike told me, but he didn't sound interested. Jessica obviously hated Shakespeare and plays alike and Angela said she was too shy to show up on a stage.

We didn't have time for any more conversation, because at that point Edward showed up right behind me. I could feel his cold hands on my neck. I shivered, like always when he touched my neck, maybe or more probably that had to to with the fact that he was a vampire and my neck the weakest point of my whole body, with all the bloof flowing through it. The blood he craved more than anyone else.

"Why did you leave us, Bella?" He asked innoncently, though his voice held something that told me he didn't really know.

"Well, since all of you were chatting about some news that you didn't bother filling me in about, I had to get the information somewhere else."

"Come back, love…" he whispered, looking deep into my eyes and dazzling me. I sighed shook my head and answered.

"I'm coming." I stood up and he kissed me once again. Mike looked furious, Jessica jealous and Angela dazzled.

We walked back over to Alice, they were both totally excited about that play thing, though I didn't know why.

"What's so exciting?" I asked. Alice had a look on her face like she felt really sorry for me.

"I don't know what you think, Bella, but we all love to play. We are definetely going to try out on Friday." Edward told me and Alice nodded with encouragement.

"Uh, I don't know, I usually don't like the thought of tripping on a stage." That caused both of them to laugh and Edward kissed my reddening cheek.

"Oh, Bella, that's going to be fun. I wouldn't want to go if you were to stay behind…" The first thing I recognised was that they had stopped laughing, then that they were looking at me with pleading eyes, Edward looking like he really wanted to act and I knew he did, and, but that could be only my interpretation, the double or expanded meaning of his last sentence. I sighed.

"_These violent delights have violent ends_; but oh well yes. I'll join you, but I won't get chosen at the tryouts, anyway. Like Edward says, I'm a terrible actress." They were so happy and Edward laughed at my usage of words from the play in question as response, but how could I deny them anything?

When finally the bell rung, signalising the end of school, I headed with Alice and Edward toward the car. A few minutes later two vampires and one human entered the big white mansion in the woods near Forks. Thank god Charlie was on a work journey with his collegues, the curfew and rules hadn't any power on me when he was gone, though he checked every time I had to be there over the phone, but he obviously didn't know that you could forward the call to any other telephone, like my new cell phone.

I went to one of the bathrooms and Edward told me that they would be down in the garden when I returned, so I went through the living room out the door and around the house where the five of them and Esme were sitting on a blanket on the grass, playing cards. When they reached my eyesight I gasped and stopped in my tracks. I had forgatten that it would be sunny this afternoon and wasn't prepared for the glittering of six vampires in the sun. Emmett, Jasper, Edward and Alice lauged hard, Rosalie rolled her eyes, but Esme was immediately at my side, handing me a pair of sunglasses. I took it gratefully and started walking towards the group again.

"Everything alright, dear?" Esme asked concerned.

"Yes, thank you, I just wasn't prepared for that sight." I blushed. I sat down between Edward and Alice who, I recognised, weren't playing.

"Why aren't you two playing?" I asked.

"Isn't that obvious? They are playing poker." Edward said. I still didn't get it and that must have been written all over my face because the next one to speak was Alice.

"How are we supposed to play fair when your love can see everyone's cards in their heads and I already know what cards they will have before they are even given?" She asked me.

"Sounds somewhat logical. Why don't you play something wher you two can join, though?"

"Because they are playing for a special prize."

"And what would that be?" Why had he to be always so cryptic?

"The one who wins will tell you-"

"Alice!" Edward growled warningly. Now I was really interested. I watched the game and followed it's way. The first to be out was Jasper. He wouldn't try to bluff and ha only two boys, so he passed. The next one was Esme, who said she didn't want to play anymore and also had only a pair of nines. Then Rosalie wanted to see what Emmett had and they laid down their cards. She was first and had a full house: three aces and two queens. Everyone whistled and thought she had won, but only until Emmett revealed a royal flush and kissed his wife with a sorry-couldn't-help – expression.

"Edward! Now you have to!" Alice squealed and my head apruptly turned into his direction. He was biting his lip and looked at me.

"Well, Bella, you see … I, well, actually all of us…you see…we wondered … if you… you would like…to…to move in with us…?" He was soooo cute when he was stuttering!

I was taken aback and looked at everyone. They were all expectant, only Rosalie held a vacant expression. She could think what she wanted. I looled at Alice and Esme, then at Emmett and Jasper…

"Are you serious?" I whispered.

"Of course, dear. We don't want to talk you into something. It's your decision …" Esme said, stroking my back. Edward held my hands and tried to calm me down. Obviously the others had no clue how to calm a hysteric human.

"Oh my god…you are the best famiy I ever had…yes…" I just fell into Edwards arms and started sobbing. He began to hum my lullaby to calm me and soon I was asleep.

When I woke up I was lying in Edward's room, but not on his couch, like I had thought, the black sofa was standing to my right. I was on a huge four poster made of dark wood, nearly black, with dark crimson red pillows and blanket.

"Good morning, sleeping beauty…" Edward stroke my hair out of my face and smiled at me.

"How was watching me sleep?" I asked, like I always did when he woke me.

"Really interesting. You say what you obviously don't dare while you are awake…" he trailed off. When I didn't respond and just looked at him and he continued.

"You said you loved me more than anything else in the world combined. You said you loved my family. You said that you would stay with us as long as you could, and you said that you wish this could last forever…that you could last forever…" He was whispering the last part, seeming sorry and partly hurt.

"I'm sorry, Edward, I didn't mean to upset you, but I can't control what I say while I'm asleep…, but it is what I am thinking the whole time. And you know that this has been settled lately." I looked away, I was sure I couldn't stand his eyes right now.

"It's ok, Bella… no, that's wrong…it's not ok, but it is good…at least to know this…"

"So, I'll stay with you guys?" I asked, remembering the past day.

"Yes. Carlisle and Alice have already taken care of your things, you will have to deal with Charlie when he's back …, but there's a little problem, though…" Edward was a bit concerned, about what I didn't have a clue.

"What?"

"We'll have some other visitors…" My heart must have skipped a beat, because after the last 'visitors' my boyfriend had to suck my blood in order to keep me alive and I had a cast for six weeks or more… and the next visitors that had been announced would be the Volturi. I strted to hyperventilate and gulped.

"Don't worry, not what you are thinking of…our friends from Denali are coming down for a while, I don't know how long they'll stay. If you don't want to be here in that time, I can understand you, but" I cut him of with a kiss on his lips.

"When are they coming?" I asked.

"Today, the others are already outside, awaiting them. They should come within the next hour. You can go take your human minute…take your time, we'll ditch school today." he looked deep into my eyes, he knew I wouldn't lie to those eyes.

"And you seriously don't mind being stuck in a house with twelve vampires?" He asked.

"No." I had answered too fast. He smiled and mumbled something about the lack of my sense of self-perservation. I went into the bathroom, taking a shower and dressing into some clothes Alice had bought me. She just couldn't stop spoiling me. It was a navy blue pair of jeans and a dark crimson, shoulderfree pullover. It fit perfectly and suited me well.

When I went out of the bathroom and back into Edward's room I found a note lying on his bed, written in his careful and elegant handwriting

_Bella,_

_I am already downstairs in the living room. The Denalis have arrived. Please try to make it down the stairs alive._

_Love_

_Edward_

I couldn't help but smile at the comment about tripping on the stairs. So I made my way down the hallway and steps, focusing on not falling over the air. When I reached the bottom of the stairs I looked at the visitors. There were three girls, looking like my or Alice's age, a man and a woman, both in their thirties. Physical age, of course. God knows how old they really were. When I entered one of the girls' head flew into my direction and she gasped. Her hair was shining blond and reached a bit over her shoulders. She was vampire pale and had the same topaz eyes as all the others.

"Hi!" I said weakly and stepped to Edward's side. He sat me down on his lap and rubbed my hand with his fingers to calm me.

"This is Bella," he introduced me.

"Bella, these are Carmen and Eleazar. These three are Irina, Kate and Tanya." He said pointing at the older woman with long red hair, the man with short black hair and many muscles. The girl that had recognised me first was Irina. Kate had long dark blond hair, that reached her lower back and Tanya had short blond hair that went only up to her ears.

"Edward…she's a human…" Was Irina's comment which I felt slightly offended by, and she earned an elbow from Alice in her ribs.

"Irina, Bella is now part of this family. What she is has nothing to say. The question is who she is and she is the most wonderful person I have ever met." Edward defended me.

"Wow…Edward has finally found love…" Said Carmen, who was obviously a lot like Esme.

"You don't care being wit seven, now twelve, vampires all the time?" Eleazar said, surprised.

"No. I don't care at all. The Cullens are the most wonderful people I have ever met, especially Edward. They don't care that I'm human, either, so why should I care? But why do you ask?"

"Well, you see, I can see your aura, and you aren't the least bit afraid. Just concerned we wouldn't like you, if I'm right," he chuckled. I started blushing once again.

"You really aren't afraid we could hurt you?" Kate asked, sounding very interested.

"No, why should I? I trust Edward and all the Cullens, and since they trust you, I trust you as well. Anyway, if one of you decided to hurt me I wouldn't have the slightest chance, fear or no fear, would I?" I saw five eyes widen, and heard seven laughs.

"You have a strange sense of humor, kid," Emmett laughed. The Denali's were still looking at me incredously, they couldn't understand how the Cullens and I could be so free over that subject.

"Time for breakfast," Edward announced. I thought that would be a good time to refresh the trick I had once played on Edward, since the Denali's didn't know that everything had become pretty normal to us. I clenched my throat with both hands and looked at him, eyes wide. Eleven eyes widened and I heard some gasps, but Edward just stood up, taking my hands from my throat into his and kissed my neck. My heart immediately started beating faster and Carmen and Eleazar jumped up from their seats.

"This joke is old, Bella. Time to feed the human." Just then the Cullens started to laugh once more and the Denali clan was taken aback, once again. When I sat down in their kitchen, starting to eat my cereal, the five Denalis entered and sat down on the large wooden table, together with Alice, Esme and Carlisle.

"I can't believe that this is so normal for you. I was shocked when the girl made that strange joke and Edward kissed her _neck_, no wait worse, her _throat!_" Eleazar said, shaking his head in disbelieve.

"Bella is part of the family and we have arranged ourselves with the situation quite well. Why shouldn't we make a good joke out of it, everyone needs a good laugh sometimes." Carlisle told him. I was really happy when Carlisle considered me family as well.

"Fine, but dont you think you are going a bit too far, Edward? She smells good, and what if you can't control yourself?" Edward growled.

"I think we shouldn't have this discussion in front of Bella. We better go into my study and fill you in abot everything," Carlisle offered, and with a quick peck on my cheek Edward left the room, followed by Esme, Carlisle, Carmen and Eleazar; leaving me with Alice and the three Denali girls.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't want to hurt you. I was just thinking…" Irina started, but Kate interrupted her.

"You think too much Irina, why can't you just shut up?"

"It's ok, Kate, Irina, I understand that you couldn't find this as normal as we do by now, right, Alice?" I responded.

"Definetely. And I know that none of us does mind, but you have to agree that not many humans would compete with this situation," she answered.

"But why do you spend your time with them at all?" Tanya asked me.

"Because I love the Cullens. And Edward especially." I started to blush again.

"But we are dangerous. We are monsters." Tanya continued.

"No, you are no monsters, that's what Edward keeps saying as well. I love Edward for who he is and he is a wonderful person. I love him more than everything else in the world combined and I trust him with my life, literally, and more." That was the longest speech I had ever given about my love to Edward anyone but him. I was tomato red once more.

"Will he change you?" Irina asked suddenly. I had stood up to put my bowl into the sink, and now it slipped through my hands and burst on the floor into pieces. Alice was immediately by my side, holding me sisterly and trying to sooth me.

"Irina! Don't you have any feelings at all? Don't you see that you hurt her? If Edward loves her he will never condemn her to our live!" Kate said, but I only started crying into Alice's shirt.

"That's the problem…" I sobbed.

"What? What do you mean?" Tanya asked, careful not to say something wrong. I wiped the tears off my cheek and walked back too the table, while Alice gathered the pieces of the bowl and put them in the bin.

"He doesn't want to make me one of you…" I sighed, looking straight into Tanya's eyes, which made me feel better immediately. For a momend the thouhgt occourred to me that she might have a gift similar to Jasper's, but she was just a very kind person.

"And, what do you think about it?" She whispered, obviously getting the train.

"I want so bad to be able to love him for ever and longer, but he doesn't seem to appreciate that. I want to be one of you…but he refuses to…" I couldn't finish the sentence, for it once again made it perfectly clear how easily my wishes could come true…

"Wait, Bella… remember, he'll do it eventually, because if he doesn't Carlisle promised you, and I bet he will want to be the one to do it himself…" Alice reminded me…

"And when will that be? Before I can get killed by the Volturi or Victoria?"

"Wow!" The three girls breathed unisono. I had started crying into Alice's shoulder again, when Edward suddenly came back into the room.

"Bella? Bella, what's wrong?" He whispered softly and touched my head. Alice answered for me.

"You are wrong! Again! Can't you just do something different than causing Bella pain? Can't you see how hard this is for her?" She merely shouted at him.

"What? What do you mean, Alice? Why -," he started, but he must have heard something from her mind or those of the girls as well, because his face suddenly became pained and he run out of the room. Out of the house like I shold discover later.

"Edward?" I whispered, and when no response came I stopped crying and run to his room. I tripped and fell and hurt myself on the way, but I didn't care. When I entered his room, there was nobody to be seen, but an envelope was lying on the bed, with a huge 'Bella' at the front. I opened it with shaking hands and started to read the letter inside…

_Dear Bella,_

_I am more than sorry to leave you like this, but I think both of us should be divined for a while. I don't know how long that while will be, but I promise to come back somewhat soon. I can't express my feelings towards you like you did, but be ensured that I love you more than everything else I have ever had, even my life. I often listened to this song, when I thought about you, it describes my feelings pretty well. Just press the start button of the system._

_I will love you forever_

_Edward_

At first I just broke down, crying and sobbing. I must have laid on the floor for hours it seemed, but nobody came to look after me which I was glad about, and somewhen I finally turned on the stereo, and that nearly broke my heart.

_I'm not a perfect person_

_There's many things I wish I didn't do_

_But I continue learning_

_I never meant to do those things to you_

_And so I have to say before I go_

_That I just want you to know_

_I've found a reason for me_

_To change who I used to be_

_A reason to start over new_

_and the reason is you_

_I'm sorry that I hurt you_

_It's something I must live with everyday_

_And all the pain I put you through_

_I wish that I could take it all away_

_And be the one who catches all your tears_

_Thats why i need you to hear_

_I've found a reason for me_

_To change who I used to be_

_A reason to start over new_

_and the reason is You _

_I'm not a perfect person_

_I never meant to do those things to you_

_And so I have to say before I go_

_That I just want you to know_

_I've found a reason for me_

_To change who I used to be_

_A reason to start over new_

_and the reason is you_

_I've found a reason to show_

_A side of me you didn't know_

_A reason for all that I do_

_And the reason is you_

I couldn't bear hearing this song and leaving everything like this, so I popped in the first song that entered my head, and in these situations the first thought is often the most wholehearted. Bon Jovi – Cold Hard Heart

_You said you loved to watch me sleep  
You put your head down on my chest  
To hear me breathe_

If he really loved me, then why did he leave? Why the hell did he leave me?

Go on, take my last breath from me  
I don't want to live no more  
And cut my eyes so I can't see  
I can't see you looking back as you walk out the door

He broke my heart, when he walked out. I can't live without him. Why did he do this to me?

Cold, hard heart  
Cold, cruel heart  
What's it gonna take  
To break your cold, hard heart

If he breakes my heart, he has to see how to fix it. I can't.

_  
I was a lover lost at sea  
You found me washed up on the beach  
You took me home, and gave me breakfast  
I said I'd offer you protection, but you didn't charge a fee_

He told me he loved me.

Cold, hard heart  
Cold, cruel heart  
What's it gonna take  
To break your cold, hard heart

Unconditionally. Well, obviously there was a condition. He loved me as long as I was human.

Cold, cold heart  
Cold, cruel heart  
What's it gonna take  
To break your cold, hard heart

Not forever. He doesn't want me. Not now, not forever.

What are you hiding underneath that shirt  
If you're the one to run babe  
Then you don't feel the hurt

It can't have hurt him or he wouldn't have run out of that door.

Her hair so brown, and eyes so green  
You used to say I made good company  
She'd bring me wine and sip her tea  
Then you'd give yourself what you could give to me

Ain't I good enough for him? Well obviously not. He just used me. I feel like an empty bottle.

Cold, hard heart  
Cold, cruel heart  
What's it gonna take  
To break your cold, hard heart

I, for my part, could never continue living without him.

_  
Cold, cold heart  
Your cold, cruel heart  
What's it gonna take  
To break your cold, hard heart  
What's it gonna take ... _

If he mean't what he said…if he really did mean hurting me…I could break his heart, too, but I doubted it would affect him at all. He had left me, again, and without him I couldn't live…so I wouldn't continue living. I found a window in the glass wall, that could be opened, and his room was pretty high…I stepped onto the edge of the window and prepared myself to jump…

"Bella! **Nooooooooooooooo…**" Alice scramed while entering the room. She was too late. I didn't want to be saved. I jumped. I prepared myself for the hit on the ground, but it never came. Someone caught me. When I looked up I saw that it was Carlisle. I let out a scream of helplessness and hurt, and then I sank into unconsciousness.

I woke up to the furious screams of Alice.

"**How dare he? If I ever get my hands on that butthead! Doesn't he know what he did? She tried to kill herself! Over him! He is the biggest butthead of the whole United States of America! Honestly! If he won't kill her she kills herself! Well, I would consider this logic! He'd better come straight back here, or he'll recieve a bunch of hits into his oh-so-glorious face and some juicy kicks into his-"**

"_Alice_! Calm down! What the hell got a hold of you?" Rosalie shouted, running into the room where Alice sat and I laid on a sofa.

"Oh, nothing dear Rose. It's just the fact that **Bella tried to commit suicide, because that giant butthead of our so-called brother left her for good!**"

"Oh my…, how is she?" Rose asked. _Concerned?_?

"Well, obviously she is psycically miserable, but physically ok, since Carlisle caught her before she could hit the ground. He says that fall would have killed her if he hadn't."

"Oha. Shit I'd say." Emmett suddenly entered.

"Hey, Bella! Are you better?" Alice asked, she had realised that I was awake.

"Do you really hink he left for good, Alice?" I started sobbing again. She hugged me sisterly and tried to sooth me. She didn't have any success.

"Bella?" Rosalie whispered. I looked up at her warm smile which surprised me a lot.

"Maybe this isn't the best moment, but I know the two of us hadn't had the best start, and I would like to apologize. Now I see how much you and Edward belong together. Maybe we could start over? Can you forgive me, Bella?"

"Forgive you? I think that's impossible." She looked hurt but nodded. "Because there is nothing to forgive, sister." I continued. She hugged me and looked very relieved.

"Now I think I can tell you. Since Cold Hard Heart still ran a while after you jumped, I could hear it throughout the forest. You know, Emmett and I were hunting. And we saw a few freshly fallen trees, or rather say knocked down . . ."

"And?" What did she want to tell me?

"You see, since we could still smell the person who had knocked them down and hear more trees fall, we know, that your precious Edward is still in the forest." My eyes lightened up at these news. He hadn't left me for good …

"And I can tell you that there are loads of birds and bees that are mad at him as well…" Kate said. I looked at her questioningly.

"You see, like Edward can hear everyone's thoughts, I know what animals are feeling and thinking…"

"Not everyone's thoughts, Kate…" Alice giggled. Kate gave her an inquiring look.

"Mine not," I said. That brought me envious looks from all three girls. I thought of laughing, although I really wasn't in the mood. The thought of Edward brought tears back into my eyes.

"Shh, Bella. He will be back. Remember, tomorrow's Friday. He won't miss the tryouts."

"**So he will come back to play, but he won't come back for me? Maybe you shouldn't have caught me. Why the hell am I in a house with ten blood sucking vampires and still have to find a way to commit suicide? Why is there no help if I need it? Who does he think he is, leaving me like this? Sometimes I wish he would have killed me the first time we met, or at any other occasion, or he would have come to late when James-**" _Slap_. Alice had slapped me right across the face.

"Bella, stop! You don't know what you are saying. He loves you and you love him! It's a shame that I have to tell you in order for you to remember that!" Alice shouted. I winced at her words.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I know, I mean…I didn't…it's just…" I stuttered.

"Shhhhhhh, it's alright, Bella. He'll come back soon, and then everything will be alright again." Tanya stroke my back carefully. She reminded me a bit of Angela, since she had a similar character.

"Thank you," I whispered, and, exhausted from all the crying, drifted to sleep.

The moment I woke up I was still lying in the living room, but suddenly realised what had woken me: The sound of the grand piano. I heard the familiar notes of my lullaby and jumped to my feet, just to find Edward on the bench, playing just for the two of us.

"Why did you leave?" I whispered.

"I'm sorry. I needed time. I'm so sorry," he answered, seemingly not able to look into my eyes. I sank to the floor and put my face into my hands. Edward was immediately by my side, rocking us back and forth.

"You broke your promise once again. You said you would never leave me again. You have broken a lot of your promises by now…what if the next promise you break is something more… you promised you loved me…"

"I have something that shall remind you that I will never ever break that one." He pulled out a box and handed it to me. When I opened it, I saw that it contained a silver charm bracelet. Edward put it on my right arm, and I examined it carefully. I was speechless, so I just kissed him softly on his lips. There were a lion and a lamb, a book, that had _Pride and Prejudice_ engraved on the front, a small heart with _Edward&Bella_ on the one and _eternal love_ on the other side, and, the last one, an apple, although I had no idea what that meant. I decided that I'd figure out sometime.

"It's wonderful, Edward, thank you."

"Just promise me something, please Bella?"

"That depends, but shoot.…"

"Please, please, promise me that you will never again try to committ suicide, or have such wishes as you yelled yesterday, alright?"

"I guess I can handle this, but don't you think we should go to school, since we already skipped yesterday?"

"Of course, but you ought to know…Kate, Irina and Tanya are coming as well…"


	2. Romeo, promises and another visitor

"_I guess I can handle this, but don't you think we should go to school, since we already skipped yesterday?" _

"_Of course, but you ought to know…Kate, Irina and Tanya are coming as well…"_

"They…oh my gosh, that'll be fun!" I laughed, heading to the kitchen and grabbing me an apple. Then we went to Edward's Volvo, where we took the three girls as well, but it was definetely somewhat full. They'd be taking another car tomorrow, at least I hoped so.

When we arrived at school we were already very late, so the girls headed to the office and we to our classes. They obviously skipped the first classes, for the first time we saw them again was when Alice, Edward and I walked them to the Cafeteria, heading to sit at our usual, but by now still empty, table.

Everyone was staring at the three beautiful new arrivals beside us. Suddenly Jessica grabbed my hand and pulled me to their side of the table. I gave Edward an it's-allright-let-her look and went along with her, taking a seat between her and Angela.

"Bella, who are they," she hissed.

"Friends," I simply retorted.

"Friends of whom? You seem to have better choices than me, don't you?"

"They are friends of the Cullens. They moved here from Alaska, and I don't know how long they will stay. Look, they are three really nice girls, Irina, Kate and Tanya." I hoped she would let me go back to Edward who was already glaring but she wouldn't let go.

"How come you are so much with the Cullens? They left you, Bella!"

"Oh, and since when do you care about me? You just want to fresh up your image with some pretty little rubbish to tell everyone."

"I thought we were friends!"

"Oh, did you? Well I don't need a friend like you, only talking to me when you want something. I've got the Cullens again and the Denalis. We are all living as one big family. No Jessica Stanley necessary." I stepped back to Edward's side and sat down when Jessica woke from her shock and shouted into my face so the whole Cafeteria could hear.

"You bitch! You filthy little slut! You gonna see what that does you good." And with that she stormed out of the building, leaving me surprisingly unimpressed.

"I am utterly impressed," Edward told me, his eyes staring deep into mine.

"I wouldn't have thought you would shake her of that easy."

"Let them think what they want. Literally in your case!" I told him, when he filled me in about the fact that Mike wasn't pleased with that at all. That guy could be persistent.

"Bella, I have to send you down to the reservation today, I fear…" Edward started.

"Why? I thought I shouldn't go see them anymore?" Now that was confusing.

"Somebody has to keep Jacob and his pack from hurting the Denalis. I'll drop you off as close as I can after school, ok?" He seemed really worried. But Jake was still my friend, wasn't he?

The rest of the day passed quickly, even Gym, although I had no Alice there today, so I was stuck with Mike. When we went out after the bell he closed up to me.

"Bella? I want to talk to you. It's wrong what you're doing. Cullen's not the right one for you, you can't move in with him after he left you all these months. You should have seen yourself all the while he was gone…"

"Haven't you seen me after he returned, Mike? I am happy again, now that he is back. Everything was just a huge misunderstanding…"

"How can you be sure he still loves you?" Mike asked. I couldn't answer. The truth was that after he had left me I didn't know that anymore, but I trusted him. I slapped Mike right across the face, and ran into the arms of my angel who had been waiting next to the car for me. I buried my head in his chest and started crying hard.

"Shhhh, Bella. What is it?" He tilted my head up and dazzled me with his mesmerizing eyes of liquid topaz color, and the only thing I could do was sobbing.

"Do you love me, Edward?" I choked out.

"Of course, Bella. How can you ever doubt that again?" He whispered, placing me on the passenger's seat, standing in front of me.

"It's just… you left me again and I still don't know why?" He sighed.

"Oh my Bella. I only left for you, I didn't mean to hurt you I had just some errands to run…the bracelet being one of them." He smiled my crooked smile and dragged me up.

"Let's don't miss the tryouts, will we?"

"I've completely forgotten! Oh my gosh, didn't we plan on practising?" Before he could answer he had me already dragged into the assembly hall, sitting down next to Alice and the Denali girls. Mrs. Onelly, the teacher, stepped in front of us and I tried to listen and to look at the people around me at the same time. There were Mike, Tyler, Eric, I hoped they wouldn't expect me to get Julia so they were supposed to be my romeo, besides I would never ever get Julia. Angela grinned at me and Lauren was sitting there as well, along with Jessica, ignoring me and chatting with Ben and Conner. Great. Everyone I knew was there.

"Welcome young actors and actresses. Theater is a gift given from god and I hope you will aknowledge it through giving your very best.…bla…bla…blubb…" This went on for about half an hour and then we started the tryouts. As always I had to be the one with the bad luck. Thank god I had Edward with me. We started with the first meeting between Romeo and Juliet. I was Juliet and Edward, how else should it be, was my one and only Romeo.

"_If I profane with my unworthy hand this holy shrine, the gentle sin is this. My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss_" Edward begun at the point where Tybalt had gone, I was immediately lost. I loved Romeo and Juliet and I knew it by heart, so I just gave in and said with all my compassion for Edward, the play and our love, like I had never done anything else, the next lines.

"_Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hands too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this. For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss._" I heard some sharp intakes of breaths and saw Edward's glowing eyes resting on me full of love. Was I really that bad?

"_Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?_"

"_Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer_."

"_O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do! They pray: grant thou, lest faith turn to despair_."

"_Saints do not move, though grant for prayer's sake_." It didn't matter to me how bad I was anymore, I was fully into this. I was Juliet and Edward was my Romeo, this was our story and I knew I would die for him, since he was already dead, just for us it wouldn't be a tragedy.

"_Then move not while my prayer's effect I take. (he kisses her, well me!) Thus from my lips, by thine my sin is purged._"

"_Then have my lips the sin that they have took_."

"_Sin from my lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again_." Edward kissed me again, long and soft. He smiled at my lips and told me I was utterly perfect… It seemed we were enjoying each other a bit too much, for at some point Mrs Onelly started caughing and Alice and the girls started to giggle. I pulled back and finished our text.

"_You kiss by th'book_." We turned to the rest of the group and they started clapping like mad.

"Anyone else to try out for Romeo or Juliet?" Mrs Onelly asked while Edward threw a glare at Mike, Tyler and Eric, but not a single hand raised. Not that I would've expected it.

In the end Alice ended up as my nurse, Irina, Tanya and Kate did the three musicans, Jessica Lady Montague and Angela Lady Capulet. Mike got Paris and Tyler did Tybalt. Eric was choosen as Montague, Ben was Capulet and Connor was Escalus.

A lot of parts were still missing, so why didn't it surprise me when Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper suddenly popped into the room, telling Mrs Onelly sorry and that they had intended to fetch their younger siblings… Emmett ended up as Mercutio and Jasper as Benvolio and Friar Laurence (double part), Rosalie for some matter did Friar Jhon and it didn't seem to bother her that she got a male part.

We didn't hear the rest (Mike Balthasar, Tyler Apothecary...) for we stepped outside and to me it was perfectly clear that the three of them had only come to get parts in the play.

Everyone but Edward, Alice and me squished into the covertible and haeded home, we headed down to the beach. Close to the reservation Edward pulled over and turned to face me.

"Listen Bella, just scream if anything goes wrong, we'll hear you. Here's a picture of the Denalis, so thaey know who not to go after. I'm sorry, but we can't follow any farther unless you are in absolute danger." He kissed me and I quickly got out of the car, running as fast as I could to the Blacks'. It was only two minutes and when I knocked Jake opened the door, obviously not aware of whom to expect.

"Bella?" He asked incredously.

"Yes, Jake, I'm sorry I didn't step by earlier, can I come in?" I was trying to get into the house.

"Um, well, Sam and the others are here as well…" He eyed me suspiciously as if to check weather I was still human.

"Oh, very good. I have to talk to all of you." I walked into the living room behind Jacob, greeting the boys I already knew were werewolves and Quil. I knew he'd join them soon.

"Bella, what is it you want to talk about?" Jake pushed me. I sat down and started.

"Well you see it's about the Cullens…" I saw some of them starting to tremble and quickly continued.

"Calm down, it's nothing. They have some visitors from Alaska down here, they mean no harm to any of the humans in town. I just don't want them to get hurt, here's a picture, please don't harm them, they're friends." I handed the picture to Sam.

"All right. I'll take you by your word." He answered.

"Friends!" Jacob and the others hissed.

"Well to me they are friends, but please don't make me pick sides as long as I'm still human." I told them, Everybody relaxed, but Jacob seemed to heat up even more.

"As long as you are still human? You don't want them to break the treaty, do you?"

"Jake, get a grip on yourself, I assume you don't want to hurt me. No I don't want to break the treaty, but it has only grip on the Olympic Peninsula, am I right, so I guess, we'll just go somewhere else… and then return to Forks… they'll have to move in a few years anyway…" Sam, Embry and Quil were holding him now.

"I can't believe you? Since when do you want to be a monster?" He spat through gritted teeth.

"Since I love Edward more than I do my life. Literally. Goodby Jacob, I don't think I can stay any longer if you don't calm down. You'll always be my best friend, you know that, right?" I whispered and ran out of the door, tears running down my cheek, and hurried to get back to he Volvo.

"Order fulfilled!" I said when stepping into the car.

"I see," Edward mumbled while wiping the tears off my face.

"You are very brave Bella, did you know? Well I guess you did, but I do admire the way you handle all of this. I love you even more for it."

"Wow, Bella, are you still suicidal? The way you talked to them! I bet they were close to loosing it." Alice told me, but before I could respond, Edward picked up on her.

"STILL SUICIDAL? Alice what the hell do you want to say? I thought Bella hadn't thrown herself down the cliff to kill herself." Wosh he was pissed.

"Not down the cliff, but out your window after you left her yesterday!" She snapped back at him.

"Bella! What the hell did you think? How stupid could you be to attempt suicide over me?"

"I'm not the one who had to be stopped from stepping into the sun back in Volterra…" I whispered. I wanted just him and couldn't bear the hole in my chest to return.

"I gues you are right. I am so very sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I thought it would be if I were just out hunting, or something like this…I promised you to be there for you, and I thought I had been keeping that promise. I still plan on keeping all the other promises I made!" He said, taking my hand in his and already pulling up in front of the Cullens'.

"Every single one? Including…" I started, but he silenced me with a kiss on my lips.

"Forever," he breathed, and carried me into the house. Carlisle was waiting for us already, wanting to know what the pack had said, so I told him everything from our conversation and, Edward filled him in about their thoughts, especially Jake's.

"Fine, I guess they will be not happy about our or rather your plans on that part, but they'll have to cope with us going around the treaty. So, I get it that our Edward has chosen?" He said when he was aware of the happenings.

"Not quite," Edward said. Carlisle cocked his eyebrows at him and I looked more than hurt.

"Why?" I whispered, taking a step back from him.

"You didn't agree with my condition. That's why." He reached out for me, but I stepped back once again.

"I did. I told you to coose, either eighteen months or a promise within the next ten years." I snapped, Carlisle looking at us questioningly.

"Oh, did you? Well, I am still waiting for a better offer."

"So am I." He sighed. I looked deep into his eyes, we were both trying to dazzle the other one. Don't let him break it. You are strong Bella, I told myself. It didn't work.

"Within five years?" I said, pleading.

"The next half year at the very most." He made his eyes turn cold, but he couldn't do that properly in front of me.

"Two?" I was desperate now. Why did he want to marry me so soon if he would have me for ever?

"Nice try." He said and turned around and attempted to walk out of the room. I couldn't stand that. Gosh he was way of a cheater.

"One year, Edward, just give me that little bit of time… please!" Why wouldn't I marry him, I asked myself. When I was about to give my life for him, marriage seemed to be only a little formality. Edward stopped in his tracks.

"Is that an offer?" I couldn't see his smirk but I felt it from where I desperately tried to keep standing.

"It's a promise in exchange for another…" He turned around too look in my pleading eyes. I tried to tell him through mine that I wanted nothing more than be with him forever, and if possible as soon as I could. Edward seemed to see in my eyes exactly what I wanted him to get from them. And his told me that he would want that as well. If it were possible right then.

"Easter," he mouthed, so even Carlisle didn't get it, since he was looking my way. Easter was in two weeks, so soon, and I thought he even meant the holidays which started next Friday…that left one week…and Charlie would return on Thursday evening, so probably just before…. I couldn't stand anymore, I was so happy. I knew I wouldn't have to fear the Volturi or Victoria anymore then…my knees betrayed me and before I could hit the ground I was already in Edward's arms and kissing him thank you.

Carlisle gave us a half questioning, half knowing look, and Alice gave a loud squeal from upstairs. Just then Edward pulled a ring out of his pocket. It was a silver ring thats band was designed like a flower, a rose, with leaves, and in the middle there was a crimson ruby formed as the head of the rose. He slid it on my finger and I started to cry tears of joy into his shirt. Nobody could hurt me in this moment. I knew that I had never been so happy in my entire life, not as he told me he loved me the first time, not after I had saved him back in Italy, just this very moment was the one I definetely knew I would never ever regret anything, not even if he just killed me himself… I was truly happy now.

The very next moment I found myself in Edward's room, and as soon as I was seated on his sofa Alice stormed in and hugged me a bit too tight.

"Alice…can't …breathe…still…human…OUCH" was all I managed to choke out. I yelped when I heard a crash out of the door. Alice let go of me, but as the noise grew louder I hid beyond her back, immediately thinking of some of my problems coming to kill me. Alice just started to laugh and pushed me a foot back as the door flew open, revealing a fighting Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie, all eager to reach us first, me and Edward who was still on the sofa, to grasp the news. Esme and Carlisle came at human pace through the corridor.

"So?" Jasper asked.

"Anything to tell us you two, or rather three?" Rosalie asked innoncently, throwing a glance at Alice, obviously asking herself why she always had to know everything first.

"Go on, we want you to tell us! If Alice already knows everything, so we have a right to be told as well." That was Emmett. I smirked at Edward, and he got up, getting me from Alice and putting his hands around my waist, facing the others with his head on mine, we looked at them as if we didn't know what they were talking about.

"Can we help you in any way?" I asked. Edard kissed my hair.

"I do think so. Come on, spat it out! When, where and how did you agree, Edward?" Rosalie asked like a little child begging to get its teddy back.

"Well, I have often agreed to various things on different occasions all over the world. I usually use words or my signing for it." I barely could hold the laughter back.

"Mate if you won't tell it we'll have to make you." Emmett said, lifting me into the air, away from Edward. He and the other Cullens ran down to the cellar, Edward behind us. They shut a large metallic door before Edward could make his way into the room.

"Let her out! Let me in! You little…" Edward screamed from outside, but it was only muffled, and he couldn't burst the door, althugh we heard the crash of his attempt. Just then I recognised that Alice was outside as well, but I couldn't hear their screams anymore, at least after Jasper pulled some strange kind of a layer over it. We were obvoiusly in a room through thats walls no sound drang. I hated it. The next cruel thing happening was the fact that Rosalie pushed me into a chair at the end of the room, right against the wall. Leather straps were closed around my hands by Emmett and Jasper. I was as trapped as a mouse in it's cage… no, worse. The mouse had no five cats in ther with it.

"I doubt that we can ever break through to the two outside, so we have to get our information through you." Carlisle told me. I had suspected something like this.

"Are you going to tell us what we want to hear?" Jasper asked. No way. Never. If Edward and Alice wouldn't I would fight as well.

"No." I kept my tone light.

"No? I guess we have to get some idea how to force it out of you. We'll definetely get our answers out of some weak human!" Emmett accused.

"I'd like to see you try…" Ooops, I guess I shouldn't have said that, because the next moment a roaring Rosalie crouched down in front of me. That sight was maybe frightening, but they wouldn't do anything. So why trick me then?

"Will you tell us or not?" Carlisle asked politely.

"Rather not."

"I'd be careful. You are the mouse between five angry cats…" Jasper hissed. Wow, they could be persistent.

"I will not tell you. End of discussion." I leaned back in my chair and glanced at my ring out of the corner of my eye. He loved me… five angry, no pissed roars made me look up. Even Esme was eager for the information. I could make them wait…

"You are brave to talk like this, human, you know what we are capable of, though! Talk!" Rosalie was really pissed.

"Yes, yes, yes…do you really think I am afraid of you, Rosalie?" That question earned me a slap across the face from her.

"You should be!"

"You should be the one fearing, Rosalie. What do you think Edward will do when he finds out you slapped me? Have fun, sister!" I nearly laughed at her expression as she realised my words were true. Another bang against the door made me laugh out aloud. Obviously Edward could still hear their thoughts through the walls… Was that imagination or did Rosalie look really frightened?

"Gosh, I won't tell you guys until Edward does. And you won't force it out of me because of two things: One, because of Edward, and two, because I am part of your family now and you do not want to hurt me!" That made them all look pissed. I was right, that much I knew for sure. Jasper tried to change plan.

"Please Bella! We are your family after all…"

"Bad attempt Jasper. Just ask your wife if she tells you…"

"Bella, darling, please, Edward won't tell us…" Esme laid her hand on my shoulder and took of my shackles with the other. They all turned to each other to discuss how they could get it out of one of us. That was my moment. I pushed the layer aside and managed to open the door wide enough for Edward to get his finger between it and its frame before Emmett pulled me back into the room. Just then the chaos made its way. Edward tackled Rosalie to the ground and Emmett let go of me to help his wife, while Alice took me into her arms and ran me to the living room. Five minutes later the others joined us, Edward's shirt buttons were ripped and Rosalie's jeans were awfully shreddered and she was wearing Emmett's shirt. I couldn'T help but laugh and kiss the love of my eternity.

That very moment the Denalis returned to the room, they had been gone, getting a new car for the three girls, since they had left all but one in Alaska.

"What has been going on here recently?" Eleazar asked when he saw the mess and Edward and Rosalie.

"Our dear little brother - " Edward growled at her. "Has some dirty little secret he won't tell us."

"Well, be as kind to tell everyone, or Carlisle will have to afford a new house if your argument continues the way you look." Always thinking practically.

"Oh that wasn't over the not telling, Rosalie slapped Bella because she wouldn't tell." Alice told him and gave Rosalie a dirty look.

"So? Edward, dear, now we are eager to hear as well!" Carmen pleaded and Esme immediately sided with her. These two women, that had been mothers to him for a century, finally convinced him to give in.

"Ok, got it. Well, you see, I have decided – there has been some time for me to think now – and I really do think …that…I will…I am going to change Bella." Alice squealed and hugged me, as did Irina, Kate and Tanya, along with Rosalie and Esme, but the rest stood there, utterly perplexed. Carlisle seemed to have guessed, though.

"When?" He asked, seeming proud, and excited.

"Easter," Edward mumbled sheepishly. I had to stamp on Alice's foot to stop her from squashing me. Suddenly she stepped back and her eyes went far away. She was having a vision.

"Bella, I think it would be better if you don't go anywhere alone during the week." Edward suddenly interrupted my staring at Alice. She came back and nodded in agreement.

"Why?"

"Someone's coming down. One person, probably not dangerous, and just a short stop, but still…" I knew what he meant in an instant. Vampire visitor.

Edward decided we should go home to Charlie's for the day, and I had to get a few things anyway, so we drove up the freeway and he dropped me off. He said he had to gather some things and run some errands himself, so he left me on my own. I walked into the house and up to my room, when I heard a knock on the door. With shaking knees I walked down the stars, telling myself not to be stupid and that there was nothing to fear.

"Bella! Oh my gosh, you look so good. Wow, it has been a long time since last we met."

"Uh…Amily?" Amily was the only real human friend I had ever had, similar to Jacob during the weeks of Edward's absence. I had known her from the day we moved to Phoenix, about fifteen years ago. The last time I had met her had ben too long ago… she'd been the only person I had ever missed when I moved here.

"It's great to see you again, we have so much to talk about!"

"Hey Amily, I would have never expected you of all people to just knock on my door in this town! Why are you here? It's soo nice to have you there again, it has been too long, indeed."

"I'm going to college in Los Angeles, but I decided to step by, because I had been to Seattle, anyway. What have you been doing in the past year since last we phoned?" She shot an accusing look at me, obviously for not calling.

"I have been kinda, err, busy."

"No!"

"What do you mean by no?"

"I can't believe it! You have a boyfriend?" Oh, gosh. I blushed furiously.

"Well, actually, … fiancé…" She shrieked and hugged me, her arms just momentarily touched mine, but I felt a familiar kind of cold. Maybe I was paranoid, but I had to look into her eyes. They were as blue as I had known them, but I could see the shades of contact linses.

"You wear contacts?"

"Actually, yes, but nothing serious…" Ok, I was paranoid, but somehow a feeling overcame me that something serious had happened to her since our last meeting…

"Do you want something to eat? I just came home and I'm kinda hungry, so…" I pulled out a tray of frozen pizza. The Amily I knew would never say no to pizza…

"No thank you, I just ate." Of course… no paranoia, Bella, I had to remind myself.

"So, what about your fiancé? Is he georgous? Is he romantic? Strong? Trustworthy?"

"Everything. Flawless and perfect, I might add…" Edward. What to do if he returned? Just as in question, the phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Bella? Can you stay on your own tonight? I'll fetch you tomorrow, but I can't tell you when. I absolutely have to go hunting tonight, or I, well actually that could change into you, would have some serious problems."

"No problem Edward. An old friend from Phoenix just happened to be in the area. I guess she will stay overnight."

"Good. Be safe. I love you!"

"I love you, too!" He hung up.

"Was that your fiancé? What's his name?" Amily nosed. Curious as always, you wouldn't think she's two years older than me.

"Yes, that was Edward! Ouch!" I had just burned myself on the oven door. Not my day.

"So, what have you been up to, Amily? The last time we really met was two weeks before your car crash, two years ago." I had to get it out of her, since she had probably heard Edward say 'hunting'…

"Not much, just a lot of traveling. Somewhere out of the hot Phoenix sun…" Beware what you say! Another proof. Was I really getting paranoid? She was my best friend, so how could she…?

"Why do you wear contacts, anyway? Your eyes have always better than mine!"

"Such things change if you grow or age…But that's not important. Important is why I came in the first place. I need your help."

"My help?" Why could she possibly need my help?

"Yes, you see I want to go to Europe, and I haven't got any idea how to make it there, without a scene from everyone I know, but I have to get the hell out of everyone's reach…"

"Why?" Becuse she was a vampire and no one had to unrevel that fact?

"I can't explain, but I doubt we will meet each other again when I have said goodbye."

"I doubt that we won't meet again…"

"We certainly won't meet during this century, I suppose… can you help me?"

"Only if you do me a favor." I had to get it out of her.

"That would be?"

"Take out your contacts!" Bang! The look on her face was priceless, but she quickly composed it as if she thought I had gone insane.

"Tomorrow. I'm tired, can I have your couch?" To what? Fake sleep?

"No problem, I'll get upstairs myself, the blanket's on the sofa, pillows everywhere. Feel at home. With that I left her and went to bed, though it had been an exciting day, it had also been a very exhausting one. I drifted to sleep the second I lay down I fell asleep.


	3. questions, remembrance and bad news

"_Take out your contacts!" Bang! The look on her face was priceless, but she quickly composed it as if she thought I had gone insane._

"_Tomorrow. I'm tired, can I have your couch?" To what? Fake sleep?_

"_No problem, I'll get upstairs myself, the blanket's on the sofa, pillows everywhere. Feel at home. With that I left her and went to bed, though it had been an exciting day, it had also been a very exhausting one. I drifted to sleep the second I lay down I fell asleep._

When I got up the next morning, it was already eight. Taking my bag of toiletries I went into the bathroom to take a shower, brush my teeth and the went back to my room to dress into a pair of jeans and a tank top. As I returned to the bathroom to blow-dry my hair, Amily was standing in front of the mirror, brushing her hair, and whirling around as I entered.

"Sorry Bella, I thought you were ready…" I didn't pay attention to her words, just her eyes mattered. She was wearing no contacts, and her eyes were deep crimson with only a shade of black around the pupils.

"Red," I whispered. "Why?" I looked deep into those mesmerizing, potentially dangerous eyes.

"Bella I can explain this. You see, the incident made blood go into my irises and coloured them this way. That's why I'm wearing contacts." She sounded a bit desperate.

"So since the car crash, then. Why didn't you tell me?" I was right. I could see a vampire whe he or she was facing me…

"It's not important, just the color, really…"

"Amily! No need to lie to me. Honestly, do you think I'm blind? Cool touch, no pizza, and now the red irises? Just tell me why?" She looked puzzled.

"How? You mean . . . you know?" She was really anxious. Her hands clenched to fists.

Of course I know. I suspected it the whole evening, that's why I wanted you to take your contacts out. Just tell me why you are a vampire."

"After the accident, someone saved me, but I never saw him or her. I was left in the forest to…well…transform. I hid myself for a long while after that…. But why and how do you know? That vampires exist, I mean?" I blushed.

"Well, you see, actually there is a family here. Seven, and five visitors at the moment. I hang out with them all the time…actually…um…you see…Edward is one of them…!" I was anxious how they would react to the news, but more importantly right now, how she would.

"And you aren't afraid at all?"

"No, they are my family. Much more than Charlie and Renee…, but please … just tell me why you do this, Amily." I looked at her eyes. She hunted humans, no doubt.

"What do you mean? Saying goodbye?"

"No, hunting people, I mean…"

"What else should I do?" She had no idea of what I was talking about.

"You can feed of animals. Didn't you know? The Culles do, and the Denalis as well. I guess I should take you to the Cullens today. Don't wotty, they are the nicest of all people." In that instant the door bell rung and I sped down to open it. On the porch was my Edward, waiting for me to come into his arms. The moment I opened the door, he froze, looking over my shoulder, directly at Amily.

"Uh, Edward, this is Amily. My friend from Phoenix. Would you mind if she came over today?" Uh, oh, he was getting mad.

"Bella! Honestly! Are you suicidal? A human fed vampire in your house and you do not call me in an instant?"

"Hey, cocky boy, calm down, I mean no harm to my oldest and dearest friend. I would just want to know if that phrase suits for you to say about Bells as well?"

"I warn you, if you ever hurt her I swear, there are eleven vampires to track you down and burn your shreds…"

"Stop, Edward! I trust Amily, I have trusted her for fifteen years, so why not now as well? She will probably be gone soon, and after Easter there are no worries left for you…" I smiled at him at the thought, he did the very same. He was really warming up to the idea of being stuck with me forever.

"What? Bella! Don't! Never let him to that to you! Are you absolutely insane?" Amily screamed and ripped me out of Edward's arms. Wait, how could she know?

"She sees through keywords. She knew the extent of what you meant to happen on Easter when you said it."

"Exactly, and I won't let my best friend become a monster." Edward tensed, and I slapped Amily across the face. Even though she didn't feel it, she looked hurt.

"Never, never call yourself, or worse Edward, for that matter, a monster! Am I clear?" I merely shouted at her.

"Wow, Bella. Never seen you so emotional…I guess I have to get a close look at that family that makes you join them." Slap!

"They don't make me, Amily! I have always wanted this, and it took a long, long while to convince Edward! Now you don't dare talk him out of that again, and don't look like a child, you do merely feel it when I slap you."

"It hurts internally. You did never react so strong while I still knew you… that boy must have changed you…in more than one way." With that comment I dragged both vampires to the car. Dragging as much as a human in my position could.

Edward turned the music on, loud enough to stop any proper conversation. The radio played a song I had known long ago, but hadn't heard it for a long while. Burning for love by Bon Jovi, and as I listened I realized that there were some points that did fit for us…

I've been lied to, you been cheated,  
I've been cried to, you been mistreated.   
I've been watching you, you want action,  
You need love and I need satisfaction.

He looked at me, obviously thinking along the same lines as I did. We really knew each other well, and always thought the same things. I was absolutely positive we were made for each other.

I'm burning for love, filled with desire,  
I can't stand the heat, my heart's on fire.  
I can't get enough (Burning love), it's down to the wire,  
Making my move, I'm looking for you I'm burning for love.

Edward took my hand in his, but I could feel his tension and knew he was listening intensively to Amily's thoughts.

You're the victim its, in your eyes.  
I'm the suspect and love's the crime.  
Tensions mounting, bodies shaking.  
I can't take the anticipation.

Amily snorted, obviously about the song. Maybe I was the victim. Love was the crime, that much was for sure. She obviously still saw the prey and predator relationship between us, that most vampires felt about humans. She was new, in any case, so what else should I have expected?

I'm burning for love, filled with desire,  
I can't stand the heat, my heart's on fire.  
I can't get enough (Burning love), it's down to the wire,  
Making my move, I'm looking for you I'm burning for love.

I needed him to survive, to be what I am, and I could never ever stand loosing him again. Hadn't I just jumped out of the window half a day after he last left me?

Now that I got you in my sights, can't take another sleepless night,  
Oh no no. You can run but you can't hide.  
You're the only one I need to feel the fire inside.

"Never leave me," I whispered, looking at his face. He turned around and smiled my crooked grin. I loved him with all my heart, and he knew I did, as I would always know he loved me…

I'm burning for love, filled with desire,  
I can't stand the heat, my heart's on fire.  
I'm burning for love (Burning love).  
Filled with desire, I can't stand the heat, my heart's on fire.  
I'm burning for love (Burning love), filled with desire,  
I can't stand the heat, my heart's on fire.  
I can't get enough (Burning love). It's down to the wire,  
Making my move, I'm looking for you I'm burning for love.

"I won't, Bella. Remember, whatever happens, I love you…" And he pulled up in their driveway, kissing me passionately, only breaking away when Amily coughed from behind and pulled me back into the seat and away from him.

"Amily! Try to be a good sport, ok? Just leave me, please." And she did take her hands back and let Edward pull me out of the car, she getting out by herself at the same time. We walked into the house, Amily obviously impressed.

"Hello, everyone! Down here please, we have a guest!" Edward said at a normal volume, they all just heard him fine and appeared just a second later in the sitting room. Alice looked at the three of us and immediately started to apologize.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Edward, I just saw this, but I didn't know she would go after Bella, I believed she was safe at Charlie's…I am so sorry, I should have known this…"

"Alice, it's ok. Well, she didn't actually go after Bella, at least not the way you think. She is a friend of hers," Edward explained.

"What? Bella, I guess you are a trouble magnet. How many vampires or other monsters do you befriend we also don't know about?" Alice snorted.

"I haven't seen her since last she was human. That was about two years ago, we lived in the same street in Phoenix, and we grew up together. She tried to save me from Edward when she found out, picture that. Amily was the only real friend I ever had before I moved to Forks. Don't judge by the first sight, Alice, I never did with you!" They were stunned. The three Denali girls had started to chatter, and the other Cullens didn't really know what to think about all this. Just then Carlisle stepped towards Amily to shake hands with her.

"Well I guess if this is really how things are, I shall apologize for our rude behaviour. Welcome to our house, Amily. I am Carlisle, this is my family: my wife Esme, Emmett and Rosale, Alice and Jasper and you already know Edward and I think you know Bella maybe better than we do. These delightful people are Carmen and Eleazar and Irina, Kate and Tanya, they are from Denali, Alaska. We are pleased to meet you." He introduced everyone to her and winked her with his hand to take a seat as everybody else did at that moment.

"Thank you, Carlisle. I am pleased to be here, as well, and I am happy to see that you are a wonderful family to care for Bella. I wish I had a family like you are. But, may I ask a for me very important question? Bella told me you had a way to – well – not be monsters? To avoid killing people?" She asked, a little staggered.

"Yes, we do. And I am more than happy when we can find more of us to try this way of life. We hunt animals instead of people. It does sound simple, but you have to know that it doesn't satiate the thirst. It just partly supresses it. If you want to try you are more than welcome and we could help you find your way, if you want." Carlisle explained everything to her, being the kind person he always was, and Amily's eyes lightened.

"Thank you very much for these information, but I don't think I could afford your help. I have to be gone by tomorrow, since there are a few people I have to meet before I can start a new life overseas like I intend to do. You are very nice people and I am more than sure we will meet again over the next decades. At the least I will visit Bella from time to time, because now I know that I do not have to hide from her and that relieves me a great deal. I have to be gone as soon as possible at any rate." That was Amily. Like I had always known her, polite, but wanting to do her own thing.

"Where do you intend to go, if I may ask?" Carlisle asked her.

"To Italy, I have heard of a big coven there that takes in vampires with special gifts…" I tensed automatically and stepped close into Edward's arms. He put his hands around my waist and held me tight. It was obvious to everyone that Amily meant the Volturi. Everyone took in a sharp breath.

"Did I say anything wrong?" Amily asked. She couldn't know what had happened in Italy, merely two weeks ago.

"No, dear. You can't know that we had a little incident with this particular coven only two weeks ago." Esme tried to loosen her tension. Edward snorted at the expression 'little incident' and I whimpered at the thought. Just two weeks ago Edward had believed me dead and I thought I would see him never ever again. Just two weeks since I had found out that he still loved me.

"Bella?" Amily and Edward whispered at the same time, Alice and Amily stepped towards me, Alice to lay her hand on my arm and sooth me, Edward kissed my hair and Amily wanted to know what exactly had happened. I couldn't answer. The thought of having been close to losing Edward forever and the feeling of fear for him, the impression of Aro and the others, the pictuer of Jane torturing the love of my life, and always the thought of that woman with the rosary and cross in there… I couldn't get rid of the thought of their cruelity. I started to cry into Edward's chest, thinking of how he had left me and how I had been so close to loosing him forever.

"Shhhhhhh, it's allright Bella, I'm here. Don't cry. We are all here and all in one piece… don't cry, I love you, and I will do everything in my might to make this experience up to you again. I know it was my fault, all of it, and I know it's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but still…I love you." He kissed my lips carefully and wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"What happened, Bella?" Amily asked in a low voice.

"Don't ask her, you fool! Don't you see how the thought hurts her? That's so very tactless of you to ask!" Alice scolded her. Amily wouldn't let go so easily.

"I am being tactless? From all I got up to now, ho was it who put her in that situation?" That made Alice look to the floor, ashamed because it had been her who had taken me to that particular Italy trip. But it was also her who helped me to save the love of my life.

"It was my fault. I told Edward Bella had jumped off a cliff." Rosalie sided with Alice and me. I had to get used to her being friendly to me, but I could understand her every reason of the behaviou she had had towards me.

"So I went to Italy and asked the Volturi, that powerful coven, to kill me. I didn't want to outlive Bella for long. I wanted to be with her again." Edward continued the story.

"And I went to Forks to see what remains of Bella were there, then I found her alive. No one could reach Edward at this point so Bella wanted to save him by me and her hurrying to Volterra. We hoped to save Edward from stepping in the sun and being killed on provocation, like he intended to do, but he had to see Bella in order to believe she was alive, so she rushed over the place to hold Edward back." Alice had gathered her thoughts again and told the story to Amily.

"At first I thought I was dead as well now, but Bella convinced me we both were alive and when I saw Alice I knew she was right. I was so happy to have her back, I can't describe it with words. But the Volturi wanted us to come down under the ground, to where they lived. Aro wanted a talk with me. So we went with them and Aro told us we were free to go if I promised to … change Bella. Alice did, though, because I didn't have the power to mean it and Aro can read minds, but more powerful than I am able to." Edward ended, very ashamed of himself.

"Then one of them came back from the streets and brought a large group of humans…for dinner…that image is it what makes Bella so upset I think." Alice finished the story.

"No, Alice. The image that hurts much much more and sits much much deeper is the thought of nearly loosing Edward forever, after all I had wisher for months had been seeing him, talking to him only once again, and I couldn't bear the thought of the last thing he had ever said to me being the fact, or rather lie, that he didn't love me anymore and that I had forced him to pretend to be something he wasn't. The memory still hurts, because I always knew I didn't deserve someone like him." I had started sobbing again and Edward looked so pained and his voice was full of anguish as he whispered into my ear.

"I love you Bella, and I am so, so very sorry. I always loved you for taking me like I am, for the fact that I didn't have to pretend being human around you. The lie I had to build up to leave you, for your own benefit, like I thought then, did hurt myself, but I never got to know that I really ripped such a large hole in your heart by leaving you… I won't ever laeve again. I promise, no, I swear. If I ever have to run some errands again I will tell you, so you won't need to jump out of a window. I am so truly sorry, for everything I put you through. It really seems as if I was just causing you pain all the time. I did never deserve anyone like you. I love you, wih all my non-beating heart, I love you, and I promise you forever if you want." He had never expressed all this, at most the last thing, so clear and intense like now. It seemed worth the pain of him leaving me, just to get a moment like this. His speech, that much was for sure, I was absolutely positive to keep engraved in my heart forever. In one week nothing could stop me from loving him anymore, in one week, I would be his forever.

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't want to bring this up. I guess I should leave before I cause more trouble here. It was nice to meet you, all of you. I do think we will meet again over the next decades, and please care for Bella, I love her as much as you do, at least I hope you do love her, but after what I heard I think she is in good hands." She smiled at Edward, an unexpected movement. I stepped away from Edward, and hugged Amily as tight as I could.

"Bye big sister. I will search for you if you don't step by within the next five years. And you will be invited, I promise."

"Invited?" She asked. I giggled and held my right hand in front of her face, showing her the ring. She looked at me, then at Edward, then back at me with an incredulous look at her face.

"Wow, Bells. I never thought you the kind of girl to chain yourself so early…and then forever… I am so happy for you. I will come, I swear. Big vampire vow, little sis." Then she hugged me and waved everyone goodbye, a second later I heard the front door close.

"Nice one that girl." I hadn't remembered they were in the room as well, now Emmetts voice brought me back to reality and I glared at him.

"What? I was serious. I never had a friend who cared for me that much while I was still human." Just then Edward scooped me up and ran to his room with me. I didn't protest anymore, for I was happy as long as I was in his arms.

"So. What do you intand to do the rest of the weekend?" He asked, sitting on the floor in front of me, whom he had placed on the bed.

"Just lying here and looking at you all the time would be fine with me."

"There was a time when you weren't so without expectations. You didn't even complain about me carrying you." He teased.

"There was a time when I had not nearly lost you forever. Just play some music if you want to…" I was absolutely confident with the current situation. He stood up and the next moment the wonderful sound of 'Colorblind' by Counting Crows filled the room.

I am color...blind  
Coffee black and egg white  
Pull me out from inside  
CountingI am ready  
I am ready  
I am ready  
I am  
Crows   
Taffy stuck, tongue tied  
Stuttered shook and uptight  
Pull me out from inside  
ColorblindI am ready  
I am ready  
I am ready  
I am...fine  
Songtexte   
I am covered in skin  
No one gets to come in  
SongtextPull me out from inside  
I am folded, and unfolded, and unfolding  
LyricsI am...colorblind

Coffee black and egg white  
Pull me out from inside  
LyricI am ready  
I am ready  
I am ready  
I am...fine  
LiedertexteI am...fine  
I am fine

"I love that song…" I said, a tear filling my eye. I had heard that song a lot when I was very depressed, it hadn't had to do too much with love and had been the only song I had been able to bear in that time…

"I heard it when I didn't have you…it is a soft melody, I couldn't bear anything else…not even Debussy because it remembered me of you…" I smiled a small smile.

"Same thing here… I am ready…you know, I never thought about a song this way, but don't you thing it does fit in any kind of situation?" I must have sounded ridiculous, but Edward said he thought the very same way. A song for every moment in life…

"Play for me," I suddenly thought of his glorious ability. I wanted to hear that sound again, and not only on cd.

"What?" Once again he was pissed that he couldn't hear my thoughts.

"Please play for me on the piano. I haven't heard you since…," I trailed off, not able to finish the sentence. He lifted me off the ground and carried me to the grand piano, where he sat me down beside him on the bench. I had missed the familiar sound of my lullaby played by him on the piano. It calmed me and remembered me of his love for me. Just then the Denalis entered the room.

"Wow, Edward, I knew you were good, but I have never heard you make such a composition before!" Tanja said.

"It was inspired by Bella," was everything he had to say about that.

"You see, Edward, we have an offer for you and Bella," Eleazar started. "We thought, since you won't be able to transform Bella here, because of your little werewolf problem, we would like to offer your whole family an Easter vacation in Alaska."

"Thank you, Eleazar. I do really appreciate that, because I couldn't think of another safe place to do it. I would love to take you in upon you offer, but I think we should ask Bella as well. Bella, what do you think about this, after all, it's your decision?" Edward asked me. I couldn't think of a place beside the Cullens', but for obvious reasons that was impossible. So, why not? I trusted the Denali's nearly as much as the Cullens.

"Why not? I mean if it doesn't matter to you. I would prefer here, but I know that's impossible, and I think your place would be the best alternative, won't it?"

"I'm glad you agree, Bella." Eleazar added towards me, Alice suddenly entering the room.

"Switch the TV on Rose!" She called to Rosalie who came in from the other side of the room.

"What's happening?" I asked when everyone started laughing.

"Not again!" Emmett moaned, comind in along with the rest.

"Wasn't it on just half a year ago?" Jasper asked.

"They have had it memorized years ago!" Kate laughed.

"Let these two have theit fun!" Carmen said.

"Woul someone be as kind as to tell me what the hell is going on?" I nearly screamed.

"Rosalie and Alice are such big Mary Poppins fans, they watch it every time it's on." Edward told me. I was taken aback. How could that be?

"Mary Poppins? The nurse?"

"Yes, who else? Now be quiet back there please!" Rose hissed. I rushed, as fast as I could without tripping, to the sofa in front of the screen and let myself fall down on it beside Alice. She threw me a questioning look.

"We have had it on tape in Phoenix since I was five." I just responded, turning my eyes to the screen. I heard Edward, Jasper, Emmett and the Denali girls moan in the background. The 'adults' just laughed.

"Not another one!" Emmett complained. In that very second my cell phone vibrated.

"Bella Swan?"

"Bells? This is Charlie, I will be home in half an hour, I have to tell you something important." He sounded worried and upset.

"Ok, dad. See you later then. Should I have some food ready?"

"No, it's allright. Bye…" He hung up. I had absolutely no idea what made him so upset. Even after Harry Clearwaters death he had never sounded so shaken. I looked at Edward and he understood. We drove to my house in silence and sat in my room in silence while he comforted me and I thought of what could possibly have happened. As the key klicked inside the door I stood up, wordlessly telling Edward to wait where he was.

"Hey dad. What happened? You sounded strange on the phone and … oh…" I had walked down the stairs and found him crying inside one of our kitchen chairs. I sat down ad stroke his back to comfort him, it didn't bother me how we usually avoided physical contact.

"Bella… she's gone…forever…" He sobbed.

"Who? What happened dad? We'll fix it, whtever it is…" My attempts to sooth him were effortless, a bad feeling I had had all afternoon was brooding high inside my chest.

"I wanted to surprise you by bringing Renee with me…she wanted to visit you…I drove to the airport…" He was sobbing and barely managed to choke out these sentences.

"Mom? What happened? Is she alright?" Of course she wasn't, what a stupid question.

"He plane… oh Bella…it crashed…she…Phil…everyone…" I stopped stroking his back. This news hit me like a punching ball into the stomach… Renee…mom…was…dead? Thank god the phone rang in that instant. I answered it less than halfheartedly.

"Billy? Of course you can talk to him, but be careful…you know? I'd rather not know how…please make him feel better…WHAT?" I had barely listened to his words until now.

"I said you shouldn't make him worse, he's already suffered enough loss, Bella. I know the outcome of your and Jacob's last talk…please Bella…I know it won't do anything good…please Bella, don't do what you're doing…"

"That's none of your business. What about me? She was much more of a mum to me than an ex-wife to Charlie… I'll just pass you on now," I said and handed the phone to my father. How could he bring this up now? I rushed up the stairs and threw myself into Edward's arms. That was when I finally started crying.


	4. tears, regrets and happy moments

"_That's none of your business. What about me? She was much more of a mum to me than an ex-wife to Charlie… I'll just pass you on now," I said and handed the phone to my father. How could he bring this up now? I rushed up the stairs and threw myself into Edward's arms. That was when I finally started crying. _

"Hush, it's allright, Bella. I swear it's going to be alright… I am here for you…I will always be…forever," he soothed me. His words made me remember that if I was to live forever and become one of them I would have had to leave Renee behind anyway and I realised that I would have to leave Charlie behind rather sooner than later as well. I looked up at him and wiped my tears from my cheeks. He eyed me suspiciously.

"I have to look up on Charlie," I said, kissing him lightly on his lips. Standing up and walking down to the kitchen I heard Charlie making some noise and obviously chaos.

"Hello, Bells. How are you feeling?" He asked, seeming very concered about me.

"It's alright dad, I will get over with it. What did Billy want?" I had some difficulties to hold back the tears but somehow I managed to talk somewhat normally.

"He wants me to spend some time with him to get over it. He says I need some time away from work and responsibility. And he told me that he had watched the news and according to them, the plane crashed on a field and was totally burned, so I guess that there will be no funeral for them… Bella?" He was on the verge of tears again, but then he looked at me with his eyes so soft I finally knew that he had still loved Renee all the time and partly did even now. And he saw her inside of me, although we were completely different in a way.

"Yes dad?" I didn't have to push away the 'Charlie' thoughts at that moment, because somehow I very intensely felt that he was my father.

"I will probably spend all my time with Billy now, and he even considered us two living together because Jacob has moved out of his house, obviously they had a big fight and he said we were both alone... I don't think I can leave this house, but I wanted to ask you if you could care for yourself, because at the moment I am not in the state to even care for myself.… I don't want to throw you out, and I know I never did much here and you were doing all the work, but still…" He looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Dad, I don't know if this is the right moment, but I have already considered moving in with the Cullens…I kind of already have while you were gone, so …don't worry about me, worry about yourself. I'm a big girl, trust me. Maybe Billy can help you more than I will ever be able to…probably he will…I won't stay here with you forever, you know…" I hugged him tightly, showing him how much I loved him.

"Good luck with your life, Bells. I know I never did a good job with mine…I…I love you, Bells." Charlie said.

"I love you, too, dad,…goodbye…," I whispered, hugging him again. Then I turned around and went upstairs, facing my future and kissing my destiny after entering my bedroom.

"Yes!" Was all I whispered as I lay in his arms which were holding me tight and lovely.

"What do you mean by 'yes', Bella?" Sometimes I wished he could read my mind.

"I am able to leave all this behind. You just saw it. I am all yours now with nothing else to bind me to human life. This is the answer you have been worrying about and threating all the time. You haven't been sure if I could give all this up for you. The fact is: I just did. Mum is dead and I told Charlie goodbye. This should probably and finally convince you I am absolutely sure about my choices." I looked into his eyes that had been darkening at first, but now got lighter with every word.

"I love you. Maybe I should take you to my place…?" He whispered into my ear.

"Yes, please…take me home, I long to see the others…" I didn't know if it was alright with him if I considered the Cullens' mansion home, but obviously it pleased him. He scooped me up into his arms and jumped out of the window, running at lightening speed towards the huge white house somwhere deep in the forest. As we sped up the lane to the house Alice greeted us fom the door.

"I'm so sorry for you, Bella, I should have been able to warn you… you two have to see something," she said hugging me sisterly and then dragging us into the house and in front of the tv. The news channel was on and so we watched, but it had to be a recording, because Alice moved the tape forward and at some point started it again.

"The only recording left from the flight is a passengers short message which he had sent to his wife some minutes before the crash. It says: 'My dearest love, I love you. I will die in this plane. There is a woman. She killed the pilots. She searched for a woman that had short brown hair and pale skin. She killed her. The killer is pale. She has red hair and red eyes. Terrorist? Your ever faithful husband.' 'We are actually searching for a woman matching the description,' said the police officer in charge or the researches. The crash is however not considered a terroristical act of violence. Maybe it even just had a personal background. All sources are trying to figure out the identity of the killer and the described victim. Unconfirmed reports tell about a red haired figure having jumped off the plane with a parachute." Alice stopped the tape. I looked at her and Edward in shock.

"Victoria…," I breathed so low I could bearly hear myself. They nodded. I felt anger and hate build up in my chest, of course I had hated her before, but she hadn't killed my mother then… I clenched my hands into fists and I felt the urge to hit something. Strange, usually I was rather a non-violent person.

"I am sorry, Bella. I should have been able to prevent this…we should have killed her…" Alice whispered.

"That doesn't matter anymore, Alice. It has happened, we can't change that. But she won't exist much longer anyway…" I spat out. She would pay the highest price, that much was for sure.

"What do you mean by this, Bella?" Edward was cocerned and partly alarmed.

"When I am changed I will personally make her pay back what she's taken. She will have to pay. I will kill her for killing my mother.…" I hissed, but then something hit me.

"Charlie!" I said, my eyes wide open in shock. She had killed my mum so it was obvious where she'd go next…

"No, he's safe, Bella. As long as we and the …wolfmonsters…are here, she won't dare coming here." He tried to sooth me.

"He will have to go to Billy's, though. I trust Jacob in keeping him safe…we won't be there to protect him all the time, will we? So I have to go see Jacob."

"No, Bella. I won't let you go anywhere I can't constantly keep your company. You can call him, but you won't go down there!" He debated.

"I have to go. I have to see Jacob at least one last time, Edward. And I have to tell them that Victoria is back." I said when I saw the protest in his eyes once again.

"She's right Edward. Talking to them in personal would be best and we can't go there. She has to take the place of a neutral messenger." Carlisle interrupted his intentions to say something. Edward shut up and took me to the car. When we sped towards first beach and pulled up as close to Sam's house as he was allowed to he turned to look me in the eyes.

"Bella, please be safe. Remember: these beasts can't control themselves. Try to not push them, and I am close enough to hear you scream…" I shut him up with a kiss.

"They would say the same about you!" I stepped out of the car and left him with a worried face.

"I love you!" I walked along the dirty roads towards Sam's house. I hoped they were there, but when I knocked only Emily opened the door.

"Well, if that isn't the vampire girl! Hello, Bella, what brings you here?" She addressed me, as friendly as always.

"Hello wolf girl. Is the pack at home?"

"No, but they will come any moment, lunch's ready. Look, there they come!" She said pointing behind me. I stepped inside the house to let the quickly arriving werewolves pass. When Jacob arrived as the last he stopped right in front of me and looked at me with an incredulous look in his eyes.

"Bella? What are you doing here?"

"I am glad to see you as well, Jacob."

"I am rather suprised, but it's good to see you again…" He sounded hurt…

"Jake, can I talk to you?" He seemed hesitant when he answered.

"Yes, what is it that you want?"

"You see, Renee, she didn't die by accident. That was Victoria who had her hands in this. Please make Charlie move in with Billy for a while and please, please, please keep him safe… Could you do that for me? You know, I still see you as my best friend."

"Can't your bloodsuckers take care of him?"

"Please, Jacob…don't be like this…we won't be there to protect him…the Denalis have invited us to Alaska over Easter…" Jacob began to tremble.

"And you know I know exactly what for you are going there! I do warn you Bella…"

"Warn me of what excactly?" I asked, now angry myself.

"He can kill you at any moment. All of them. And they will, be sure of that. If you serve yourself to him…you will die by his very hand, or teeth for that matter."

"Oh, and I am so much more safe around you, who is alredy trambling and if you can't control yourself, then you will certainly do the job for him!" He looked at me wide eyed and then relaxed a little.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I guess I will just have to learn to handle your choice. We will take care of Charlie for you. But please Bella, take good care of yourself…" A tear ran down my cheek as I answered.

"I will, Jacob, but please do the same. We will see each other again, that much do I promise you. Please look away over the boundaries of your natural enemyship, and still see me as a friend when I return…" I hugged him and then turned around with a hanging head, tears streaming down my face I couldn't hold back. When I arrived at Edwards car he looked at me with grief on his face. I stepped into the car and he wordlessly turned on the engine. It seemed an awfully long drive to his house and as soon as we arrived Alice just hugged me and dragged me inside sitting me down on a sofa in the living room. To my surprise everyone was gathered there and Carmen started talking.

"I think you are all really torn up, especially you, Bella, dear, and we think you need something nice you can maybe even laugh about, just something different to moping and hanging around the house. My husband and I took the opportunity to invite all to the theater tonight." Wosh. Eight jaws dropped, even the three girls hadn't kown about it, of course Alice had, but she smiled nothingtheless. Edward frowned. I looked at him questioningly but he just looked back at Carmen and Eleazar, when Jasper voiced everybody's thoughts.

"What are we watching? And where?"

"We are watching a musical. There's a premier in Seattle tonight." Eleazar said, making us all even more suspicious by not telling us what musical exactly we were going to watch…

"What musical, exactly?" This time Emmett was the one to voice my thoughts.

"It's a bit of everything. Love story, comedy, horror…well, not actually horror, but a comical try of it…" Eleazar said, still avoiding to tell us the name of the play.

"What musical will we watch, Eleazar?" Irina, Kate, Tanya, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett asked at the same time, starting to laugh as they realised they had all asked the same at the same moment. I still tried to read the answer from Edward's not so enthusiastic eyes, to say the least.

"Umm… well, alright, but only if you promise not to laugh!" Carmen said. Immediately there were six hands on the chests of the six inquiring vampires.

"The Dance of the Vampires," Eleazar mused. They all laughed, though, even I joined the laughter, but stopped it the second I saw Alice flash a look at me…uh, oh…dressing up…. Two minutes later I found myself pleading and arguing in Alice's bathroom, with Rosalie and her doing my hair and makeup at vampire speed.

"Alice, Rosalie, please…it will be dark there anyways!" I was shut up by one of Alice's usual 'never had a human childhood' comments, but I had begun contering them as well, saying I would gladly swap places with her. That shut her up for that matter. I still couldn't wait until Edward would finally change me, but we had a silent treaty that I wasn't to bring this up over and over again, just like he wouldn't keep on demanding about wedding. I wouldn't give up that easily, though.

"Dress, Bella!" Alice squealed from behind me, scooping me up into her arms and running me to her room where a blood red dress was laid out across her bed. When I had stepped into it, it flowed down to the floor, but it was pretty plain, though very beautiful. It had only one shoulder and went pretty low on the back, but the V on the backside was fixed with a black velvet band. Another black velvet band started at the bottom of the V, going down around my waist in the front to the other side and went down as a border along the slit on the left side that wnt about mid-tight high, the other side of the slit was boardered with a similar band, but this one just went down from the V, joining the other band right at my hip, where a black velvet rose covered the place where they met. It was beautiful. As soon as she had me in similar black ballerinas (thank god! No heels!), she shoved me in front of the mirror. I looked actually pretty, my hair curling above my bare arms, slightly tied in the back, makeup in decent shades of red.

"Now go and meet Edward in the living room," Alice ordered. I blushed slightly. Would he like it? Would he appreciate the way it hugged my figure? Rosalie ripped me out of my worries.

"I bet he'll be wearing black tonight." That sent me running down the stairs as fast as I could without tripping, and made them stay behind laughing wholeheartedly. The not tripping attempt didn't work at all, though. I flew over the whole lower staircase and Edward had to catch me in midair. Alice shrieked from above.

"Bella, watch out! Your hair!" That made Edward growl.

"Of all the things you worry about when Bella falls down – no flies over – a whole staircase is her hair? What kind of a sister are you, Alice?" I didn't pay much attention to his rant, I was too preoccupied with what he was wearing. He wore a black pair of jeans and a black jacket that covered a crimson red button down shirt. I couldn't stop ogling.

"Bella, you look beautiful!" he breathed.

"Could say the same about you…" He laughed and led me out to the red BMW M3 covertible we would be sharing with Rosalie and Emmett. The 'adults' wold ride in the Mercedes S 55 AMG and the three girls, as well as Alice and Jasper, took the Denalis' dark blue Chrysler. To my surprise they were all just coming out of the house, although Alice and Rosalie hadn't even been close to ready just a few minutes ago.

However, after a silent ride of about one hour – stupid vampire speed, I coldn't look out of the window – we arrived at the Seattle theatre. As usual, Edward helped me out of the car, but he still seemed a bit sceptical about the musical. I just found it funny to watch a vampire musical that was more than very cliche accompanied by a bunch of twelve vampires. The boy selling the tickets looked really impressed by the large group of beautys and the human, walking towards the very first row – I don't know why I had expected anything else.

"Good evening, ladies and gentelmen. Welcome to the premier of The Dance of the Vampires. In case you carry a cell phone, we must ask you to switch it off now. Please enjoy our play." A voice emerged from the boxes.

We had all taken our seats, on the very left (right if you looked down from the stage) was Eleazar, beside him Carmen, Esme, Carlisle, then Edward and I, Emmett, because Rosalie wanted to sit next to Alice who, of course, sat with Jasper and then came the three Denali girls. They had wanted Jasper surrounded by enough not human people…it was somewhat hard for him in the room with so many humans in very small place. Just when I had finished looking for everybody and where they were situated, the Overture began.

Most of it was kind of silly, because it was about some old weird professor who was searching for vampires in Transsilvania, accompanied by his assistant. The assistant fell in love with the daughter of the hotel owner but she was drawn to the vampire lord in the castle nearby. He invites her to the midnight dance and she goes without anyone knowing. The assistant however wants to rescue her and the professor still wants his vampires, so they both go and search for the vampire castle and become guests of the lord.

In the breake we sat in a corner of the hall and laughed about how ridiculous this was, even Edward managed to find it funny. When I had drunk the juice they had got me to drink we walked back to our seats, Jasper and Emmett still arguing about the advantages or disadvantages of living in a huge castle, Esme just said it was awful to clean up.

When the second act started it got interesting. The first song was about the love between the girl and the lord, completely different and not the least bit compareable to what Edward and I had, but still impressive.

Total Eclipse of the Heart

(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit lonely  
But I don't know what I miss  
(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit desperate  
And I wonder what it is I desire  
(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit nervous   
That the best of all the years have gone by  
(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit terrified  
And then I see the look in your eyes  
(turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I hear a voice  
(turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I hear  
(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit restless  
And I dream of something wild  
(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit helpless  
And I'm lying like a child in your arms  
(turn around)Every now and then I get a little bit curious  
What it's like to be a woman and free  
(turn around) Every now and then I get a little bit terrified  
But then I see you calling for me  
(turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart  
(turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I fall apart

Boy: And I need you now tonight  
And I need you more than ever  
And if you only hold me tight  
We'll be holding on forever  
And we'll only be making it right  
'Cause we'll never be wrong  
Together we can take it to the end of the line  
My love is like a shadow on you all of the time  
I don't know what to do  
And I'm always in the dark  
Girl: We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks  
Both: I really need you tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
Girl: Once upon a time I was falling in love  
now I'm only falling apart  
There's nothing I can do  
a total eclipse of the heart  
Once upon a time there was light in my life  
But now there's only love in the dark  
There's nothing I can say  
a total eclipse of the heart...

"You don't feel that way, do you?" My love asked in a hushed but concerned tone.

"No, your love isn't a shadow, it's pure light. I love you." I said, then turned around to face the stage again.

(turn around) Every now and then I think I better run away from you  
Before it's too late  
(turn around) But every now and then I know I must go when you lead me  
I would go with you through the gates of hell  
(turn around) Every now and then I know there's no one in the universe   
As magical and wondrous as you  
(turn around) Every now and then I know there's nothing any better  
And here's nothing that I just wouldn't do  
(turn around, bright eyes) Every now and then I hear a voice  
(turn around, bright eyes) Now I know I never had a choice

Both: And I need you now tonight  
And I need you more than ever  
And if you'll only hold me tight  
We'll be holding on forever  
And we'll only be making it right  
'Cause we'll never be wrong  
Together we can take it to the end of the line  
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time  
Boy: I don't know what to do  
And I'm always in the dark  
Girl: We're living in a powder keg  
And giving off sparks  
Both: I really need you tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
Forever's gonna start tonight  
Girl: Once upon a time I was falling in love   
But now I'm only falling apart  
Both: There's nothing I can do  
a total eclipse of the heart  
Once upon a time there was light in my life  
But now there's only love in the dark  
Nothing I can do  
a total eclipse of the heart  
Girl: There's nothing I can say  
a total eclipse of the heart  
There's nothing I can do   
a total eclipse of the heart

The next song was again rather ridiculous so Edward took the opportunity to calm himself.

"You should have thought about running, too…"

"Never. There's no one in the universe as magical and wondrous as you. I always had a choice and I would never have chosen anything different…" I kissed him softly on his cheek.

The rest of the play went ok until Emmett got a laughing attack when the gay son of the vampire lord flirted with the assistant. But some time later they all laughed softly when they sang about eternity being boredom forever and I heard Edward whisper 'let's not over exaggerate'. However it got interesting when the vampire sang about his destiny and forsaken life.…

Endless Appetite

Well alright,  
no stars tonight  
The moon must hide  
can't bear to see my face  
So many moons have passed  
So many suns gone down  
Too much blood under the bridge  
Too many worlds turned upside down

The skies were pure and the fields were green  
The fading summer, sixteen-seventeen  
The first time I ever drew blood  
She was such a beautiful and innocent child  
She never knew my soul was cursed for good  
I fought to overcome my thirst I thought I could  
But when I kissed her lips then I had no control  
And the furies all ran wild

Edward leaned away from me and pulled his arm away from me, but I leaned over to him and pressed my lips just onto his, showing him that he was good, he was stromg and he really loved me. He smiled at me, kissing me back and taking his usual position again, my head on his shoulder. Emmett chuckled and I elbowed him into the ribs. He barely felt but got the hint.

And when I grasped for life  
I always killed the things for which I yearned  
I wish to be a flame and reduce to ashes  
But I have never burned  
I long to fly in total freedom  
and yet these chains keep dragging me down  
I want to be an angel or the devil himself  
But I am nothing but a creature longing for things I can't have

And this split that stole my very soul – Edward cringed -  
It's a wound that never mends – he tried to get away from me again, but I managed to wrap myself aroubd his arm so he would have had to hurt me to get free -  
Our desires are elusive  
And the hunger never ends  
When the world has drawn it's final breath  
and extinguished all the lights  
There'll be nothing left  
but a lifeless wasteland and an endless appetite  
Nothing left but a soundless heartbeat and a ruthless appetite

The preacher's daughter let me in her room  
In seventeen thirty-two, to love me was her doom  
With her silken blood I wrote a poem of love  
Upon her ivory skin  
And the bashful page of Napoleon the Great  
In eighteen hundred thirteen he stood at the gate  
When I recall his body I can't help but think  
To consume him was a sin  
So many victims washing on the shores  
an ocean of pure tears  
So many pleas for mercy, howls of pain  
Intoxicating fears  
I used my body just like a bandage  
I used their bodies just like a wound  
And I'll never know where they disappeared  
But I can see them rising up out my memories now  
Just like the demons rising up from a tomb!

And there is no way ever to apologize,  
repent or make amends  
No release and no redemption  
The hunger never ends  
There are those who believe in science  
And those who believe in art  
There are those who believe in power and wealth  
Or love and matters of the heart  
There are those who believe in various gods  
In nations, and knowledge  
In hell and in heaven  
The powers of darkness  
The assumption of the light  
But I believe in just one god  
That of endless and insational  
Immoral and destructible  
And all consuming appetite

There is a prediction that I now will make  
And I'm sure it will be right:  
When the next millennium finally comes  
The god most worshiped in this world  
Will be the god of appetitte

I guess I now knew the reason for his doubts about going. It was this situation he had feared. Maybe he had thought this kind of songs would open my eyes about what he was in his opinion. He was wrong, however. He wasn't like that. Half an hour later we were in Rosalies car, Emmett and I happily chatting and laughing about the play.

"See, Edward, that's what any responsible vampire would do…" Emmett said, but was shut up by a growl sounding through the car. Rosalie had closed the top because it was raining.

"I have to admit that he has a point" I threw in. He shot me a glare. Of course the lord hat bitten the girl in the end and she had even bitten the assistant, so it was a vampire ending.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, did you just glare that mad at me?" I asked, shocked. Rosalie chuckled and Emmett tried to hold his laughter back. She studied our expressions through the rear mirror.

"Yes I did. I thought you wouldn't bring this up!" He said, a bit sorry, but just a bit.

"Then you should really apologise, or I am not going to marry you in this decade!" Emmett burst out in laughter and Rosalie gave me a go-on-look. Edward rubbed the back of his neck with his hand.

"I'm sorry Bella. Where were we befor I was behaving rude again?" I almost giggled, but just kissed him slightly to show him he was forgiven. At any rate, Rosalie, who was now on my side and a second sister to me, somehow turned on the radio playing 'Beauty and the Beast'. She got a fist in the back, but the car didn't move an inch. Emmett punched Edward and I shrieked. He had stroken me while going at Edward. Immediately he looked at me with serious and apologising eyes. Edward was concerned and looked at my wrist where I was hurt, silently cursing Emmett, I could tell they both felt bad about this.

"Well done, stupid. Her wrist is sprained. Gimme the first aid case from the case in the front!" Emmett felt really bad now an did like he was told, sometimes I was happy Edward had been through med school twice.

"Here. Bella, look I'm so sorry…does it hurt badly?" He was so turn up. I loved my big brother.

"No, it's ok…ouch!" Edward was bandaging my wrist and had twisted it into a somewhat uncomfortable angle while doing the bandage.

"Sorry love… does it hurt? Don't worry, luckily it isn't broken." I swore. Did I have to present myself especially clumsy and fragile in my last human days? The thought made my heart jump, and of course they heard, and six eyes looked at me questioningly.


	5. good questions, old mates and parents

"_Sorry love… does it hurt? Luckily it isn't broken." I swore. Did I have to present myself especially clumsy and fragile in my last human days? The thought made my heart jump, and of course they heard, and six eyes looked at me questioningly._

"What's wrong Bella?" Edward asked cautiously.

"Nothing," I said, blushing.

"Please tell me, you know you can always tell me what you're thinking…" His eyes did that incredibly lovely smoldering thing that made my brain go mush. Cheater!

"Do I have to present myself especially clumsy, weak or breakable …especially in front of them…and to top it all of in my last human days!" Darn. I shouldn't have said that last line, because Edward's eyes immediately went darker, although Emmett chuckled in the front.

"That's why I love you Bella…you can still turn back, you know…" His face became serious.

"No, I can't … and I won't…no, don't try to cheat on me…I won't turn back, … not a chance!" He smirked as he saw how angry I had become. But then he sighed again.

"Come on, we're home, I wanna talk to you, in my room and alone…" Edward added as he saw the expressions in the eyes of Rosalie and Emmett. I hadn't noticed we were there already, but I hastily got out of the car, thanked Eleazar and Carmen again, before Edward scooped me up to carry me into his room.

We sat down on his, wait – our, new bed and he looked deep into my eyes, dazzling me, but obvioulsly lost in thought and not noticing what he did to me until he had to remind me to breathe.

"Bella…why do you want to become one of us? Is this just because of the Volturi, or because of Victoria, or even because my family would like it…?"

"Oh, Edward, don't say any of this. I am not afraid of the Volturi, and this is not because of Victoria, but this is just and only because of you, so if you want to blame someone, blame yourself for ever having fallen in love with me, but I doubt you would regret that…would you?" I looked down, not sure how he would possibly react, afraid he would get mad. He grabbed my head with his hand and softly turned it around to make me look at him.

"I can't ever regret that, even if I regret what I've caused you to endure, could I never ever feel sorry for loving you…I'm just worried that you let yourself be forced into this…Bella, tell me and please be honest, do you feel yourself forced in any way?" His stare on me was intense so I just spilled out what I was thinking.

"You could call it forced – no, let me finish – what possibly world's biggest and most powerful force does to me: love. Everything that ever made me do anything was love, and because I love you, I did these things for you, and I wanted it, because to love you is my only will…and I want this love to last forever, I want to make you happy all the time during the rest of your existance…wouldn't you love that Edward? Don't you love me enough to give me what would make both of us happy?" I was on the verge of tears when I had finished, and he quickly kissed the water off my cheeks and then kissed my lips.

"I want you to be happy, Bella, and now you have made it perfectly clear to me that this is what makes you happy, and I can't tell you how happy it makes me to be able to look forward to spending an eternity with you. Promise me…" I didn't get to know what I should have promised him, because this very moment Alice burst into our room – I love the way that sounds.

"Bella, oh Bella, I'm so sorry, I should have seen this earlier-" My cell phone started ringing.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hello Isabella…" Said a velvet voice, not as beautiful as the Cullens' voices, but clearly not human. Female, though. Only one person came into my mind who could be calling me and fit these points…

"What do you want?" I asked, my voice as harsh and angry as I could manage. I was afraid, and positive she had Charlie.

"Be polite, Bella, what have I done to you…up to now…" There was an unmistakable thread in her voice.

"Are you alone, Isabella, or is your filthy so called boyfriend anywhere near you?"

"Don't you dare call him filthy. That description only matches you!" Gosh, I was pissed.

"I guess you're alone then, otherwise I would've heard someone growl…" Thank god Alice had her hand pressed to Edward's mouth and held his hands with the other one.

"I ask you again, Victoria, what do you want?"

"I am truly impressed you have figured out who I am, but rather disappointed you don't know what I want, but I can tell you. I want YOU, Isabella." My heart started to beat franatically.

"And you thing I'd just come over to wherever you are and let you kill me? Very wrong, if you ask me…" I tried to hide my fear not only from her, but from Edward and Alice as well.

"That has already worked once. James told you he had your mother. I can't tell you that, I've already killed her – oh, I'm so sorry, I guess you didn't know that…"

"I did know, but now I have confirmation. And I can tell you one thing: I'll get revenge for her, and for Charlie as well. I'll personally burn the shreds I will have torn you into!" I was more than pissed, and on the verge of tears. I could feel that Charlie was dead, just like I had had a bad feeling when my mum was dead.

"Your father is still alive…you can talk to him, if you wish." A scream followed and Alice, who still didn't dare to talk afraid Victoria could hear, showed me a piece of paper with her elegant handwriting on it. It read:

_Bella, Charlie is dead, you are right. But Victoria hadn't planned this. He got a heart attack when she told you that she wanted to kill you and had killed your mother. I am sorry, but at least she didn't physically kill him…sorry…sorry…sorry…Alice. _

I vaguely smiled at her to show her it was ok with me. I had said goodbye to him already and we had parted on good terms. What more could I ask for? I leaned on Edward, waiting for Victoria to continue speaking.

"He won't talk to you. Your dear father is too afraid, but I guess you will have to come over to his house and calm him down, before I will kill you…" She said, I imagined her sanding nervously in our kitchen and holding the reciever into her red hair.

"No, thank you. I'll attend the funeral tomorrow and tell everybody he had a heart attack, they don't have to know why, do they? I guess the next time we'll meet is the moment just before your final death. Have a nice time, Victoria." I said and hung up, throwing myself into Edward's arms and shaking with tears of fear, pain, anger and anticipation.

"Shhhh, it's alright,Bella. I love you, you are so brave…I am sorry we weren'T there to protect Charlie…Alice, tell Carlisle to call the hospital to get the corpse out of the house."

"Sorry, Bella. I should have been able to warn you…" With that she hugged me and before I could respond darted out of the room.

"What is she doing?" I asked Edward through my sobs.

"She's calling Carlisle so the corpse will be removed from the house. And he has to know about Victoria being so near." He carefully stroke my hair back. Suddenly Alice was back.

"I'm sorry Bella. I have one good and one bad news. Which one do you want to hear first?"

"Just start with the bad one …" I said. I was so exhausted from all the terrible accidents fate had held for me the past days.

"Bella, after your comment about the funeral…Victoria disappeared – and with her Charlie's body…"

"WHAT? That … that … woman!!! She's really gonna pay!!!" I was so pissed and so sad. I would't be able to have one last look at Charlie…

"But the good news Bella…cheer up! Your mom's alive!!!" She beamed at me.

"What? But – how?" Victoria herself had said she'd killed my mum.

"I don't really know, Carlisle told me she was in the hospital. They have rescued twenty people alive!!! Come on, I guess you want to see her!" I couldn't believe it. My mom was supposed to live? Should fate be not completely against me? Could I finally tell her I was engaged? I jumped up and hurried towards the door, Edward silently followed and helped me into his Volvo.

As soon as we arrived at the hospital I dtormed through the front doors and ran to the information, but no one was there, so I rang the bell franatically. After what seemed like years to me, an old nurse finally arrived, politely asking for my wishes.

"I am searching for Renee Dwyer. Where do I find her?" She typed something into her computer.

"Sorry, I can't find Duier here."

"D-W-Y-E-R. It has to be there, I know for sure she lies here."

"Madam, I can't find this, either. You must be wrong, I am afraid."

"Then try Higginbottom. H-I-G- -" I was pissed, but I got interrupted by the familiar voice I had hoped for all the time: Carlisle.

"Bella! Come here, I'll take you to your mother."

"Thank you Calrisle." I was happy he took us personally, because I couldn't have stood another annoying nurse. I was so very relieved when we ran past and not through the door towards the intensive care station. Directing us to a small corridor, and turning into one of the first doors, he led Edward and me to my mother. She was lying in a white bed, an IV hanging beside her and her head in countless bandages, the other body parts were covered by the blanket, but looked unnaturally big. More bandages there, I supposed.

"Mum?" I whispered, not wanting to wake her in case she was asleep. But se opened her eyes in an instant, looking around to face me.

"Bella? Bella darling…I thought I'd see you never again." I ran over to her bed and sat down on the blanket, getting a tight grip on her hand.

"Hush…it's allright, I'm here mum…what happened?"

"The plane – that woman – aunt Merilyn – we crashed…" Was all she managed to choke out. In that instant I knew what had happened: My mum had not only flown with Phil, but she had also brought aunt Merilyn with her. Merilyn was her twin sister and they looked excactly the same, so it was no wonder Victoria got hold on the wrong one.

"We sat in this plane. I was on the toilet. When I returned Mer hang in her seat. Dead. People screamed. Phil had a broken neck. Also dead. One of the emergency exits opened. A woman jumped out. I just saw red hair –" She began to cry. She had always loved Phil, and although she hadn't always been on best terms with her sister, they were still sisters and I had always loved my Auntie-Merie, like I used to call her when I was little.

"It's alright. You're alive, and you still have me. We'll make it through this, I promise." I turned around to look at Edward. His eyes were so full of love while he watched me nursing my mum, and Carlisle gave me an understanding and supporting look.

"She'll make it, no doubt. She had incredible luck. Not considered any other circumstances she crashed with a plane – and has only a couple of broken ribs, a broken arm, sprained ankle and a minor head injury. We can take her home if you want. I'd just have to check her head."

"Thank you Carlisle. Mum? Do you want me to take you home?" I asked carefully.

"I'd love to be around you. But Charlie –" She began, but Edward interrupted her.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you Mrs Dwyer, but I think Bella considered home as our place. She's living there with us now and it would be a pleasure to have you there."

"She WHAT??? She lives there with YOU? What the hell –" She started to rant.

"Mum, relax. I'm sorry I have to tell you after all this, but Charlie had a heart attack. He's dead. Either you come with us or you stay, but please consider the fact that I missed you and cried my heart out when I heard that your plane had crashed…" Instead of answering me, she turned to Carlisle.

"Dr Cullen, I'm sorry I have to bother you, but I would like to be with my daughter."

"No problem, but please call me Carlisle." He smiled and went to remove the bandage around Renee's head.

"Thank you – ouch – if I'm well enou – ouch – enough I'll take Bella back – ouch – back to – ouch – to Jack – ouch – ouch –" I smiled and Carlisle smiled back. Edward shook his head and held back his laughter. Renee then recognised that Carlisle had wanted her to not finish that sentence. She gave me a dirty look and Carlisle sent me and Edward outside, following us and then going to sign the papers for my mother. Edward and I sat down outside the room and waited for Renee to finish dressing.

"What do you think?" Edward asked me.

"I'm thinking of how to tell my mum. About the engagement and everything …" I was happy she hadn't seen Victoria kill her sister, but she'd have to know about vampires, because I couldn't stand leaving her without a word or even with a lie.

"I guess no one will find out if we tell her. Don't worry. She'll get down to the news."

"You mean we can tell her? I couldn't stand leaving her with a lie."

"Of course,but I think we should tell her about the marriage first. How would she react if she knew the other one first?" I giggled, and in that moment my mother came out of her room, a big plaster on the forhead, but no bandages visable, beside the cast around her arm. Thank god it was her left arm, so she could still do everything with her right.

"Shall we?" Edward asked her, and I placed my arm around her waist to steady her, while she still wobbled from the time in bed and the sprained ankle. I was so happy to have her back. When I helped her into the car and later into the Cullen's house Edward was even more of a gentelman then usual.

"Welcome to our home, Mrs Dwyer! I am Esme, Carlisle's wife." Esme greeted her after hugging me motherly.

"Renee, please." She said, eying Esme suspiciously, almost as if she was envious that I had something like a second mother.

"These are Alice and Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett, and our guests: Carmen and Eleazar with Tanya, Katharina – called Kate - and Irina. We are so happy to have you here. Actually even more you're alive. You won't believe how much Bella cried in the past days when she thought she was suddenly missing both of her parents."

"Thank you for supporting my daughter, especially when I couldn't. I really don't want to cause any trouble, but would it be possible for me to rest a bit? I also want to talk to my daughter." Uh-oh. Talk to her daughter? That couldn't be good.

"Of course. Bella, can you show your mother the guest room near yours and Edwards?" I nodded and tried to ignore Renee's looks at the thought of my and Edward's room. We went up the stairs slowly, and went into the apricot couloured bedroom, with a light four poster and yellow blankets, a peach colored sofa and a small table were there as well. She sat down on the bed and I let myself fall onto the sofa.

"Bella, don't you think you bother them too much?" She asked, not the least bit cautiosly.

"No, I don't. They are as much my family as you are, well, maybe you're a bit more important to me, but still…I love them. I love Edward."

"I don't believe you love him. He left you! You can't just move in with him and his family."

"A, I love him more than my life. More than I believe you have ever loved Charlie and Phil together. B, that was all a big misunderstanding. C, they asked me if I wanted, especially after we believed you dead and Charlie had a heart attack. D, they are my family now. That would be as if you had said I couldn't move in with Charlie. E, you won't take me back to Jacksonville, because F, I went here because of you! So you could be with Phil and I was sure it would be excruciating here, but out of everything developed the love of my life, the only place I was ever truly happy, and a completely new life." Wosh. When I was finished her jaw dropped and she looked at me as if I had speaken in fluid Indonesian.

"What do you want to say? Do you mean – you don't care what I say? That you will do your own thing?" She was taken aback.

"Essentially yes. I'd love if you agreed with, or at least understood, me, but if you are against what I have choosen I won't care. I came here for you, I always cared about you, I had to care about wether the bills were paid and there was food in the fridge or gas in the car. Now it's time for me to do something for myself." I walked over to her and sat beside her, placing my right hand over hers, which was lying on her tigh, and looked into her eyes.

"Look, I love you mom, but I love Edward. I will stay in Forks, finish school here, and then move away with him or all of them. You ran away with Charlie. That didn't work. I don't run away with Edward, but I am more than positive that our relationship will work out. We belong to each other, try to understand this, mom. Mom? MOM???" She looked down, her mouth open, her eyes wide.

"I see. … You … he … I can't believe it … my Bella …" She started to cry, not sobbing, but tears running down her cheeks and falling on my hand. I realised she was staring at my beautiful engagement ring. I thought she was going to scram at me or cry a lot, or even burst out in laughter. I was prepared for everything, expect the question she actually asked me:

"May I … Bella, may I walk you down the aisle?"

"Of course mom. Thank you! Does that mean you agree with us? You're the best mum I ever had!" I kissed her on the cheek, something I usually never did, except to Edward.

"Yes, but, please, let me sleep a bit now. Ok, Bella? I love you!"

"I love you, too!" I said and walked out of the room, downstairs to where everybody was still waiting. Of course my bloody klutziness kicked in. I tripped on the stairs and fell right into a bowl with heads of flowers, one of Esme's beautiful decorations. Edward wasn't fast enough. When he reached me, I had already scattered the glass bowl, shards in my left arm, similar to what had happened at my birthday.

Luckily most of the Cullens were aware of what happened, so Emmett grabbed Jaspers arms, Rosalie stood in front of the three girls and Esme put her hands on Carmen's and Eleazar's shoulders. Alice came running with a towel and water, Edward stopped breathing and carried me into our room, while Alice was already cleaning away the blood. Esme stepped into the room, a hand over mouth and nose, carrying Carlisle's doctor's kit.

I looked up at her. She looked so very ashamed, as if she would have burst into tears if she could. In exact the same moment we both sobbed "Sorry!", she because she was ashamed, I because my arm hurt and I had once again caused them problems. That eased the atmosphere a bit, because Edward let out a low chuckle. He had his jaw clenched and wasn't breathing, but I didn't see his eyes shining.

The clock in the living room made its sound; it was 6.15pm. As if on command I heard the door open and close, a cough and one minute later Carlisle stood in front of me. I smiled apologetically, but as he saw my arm he just laughed.

"Didn't we have this situation just lately?" He teased, taking his bag from Esme.

"I guess you know what's going to come now? Edward, could you carry her to the kitchen?" That made all of us laugh. Carlisle kissed his wife and whispered something, obviously telling her to go and not make it hard for herself. When we were in the kitchen and I once again sat on the table Carlisle also turned towards Edward.

"You can go, Edward, I will take care of her."

"I can take it, Carlisle." He said. I could see that he was slowly taking a breath.

"Don't leave …" I whispered. Both, Carlisle and Edward knew it had a double meaning. Edward placed himself beside me and put his arm around my waist, while Carlisle on the other side of me already started working.

"I will stay right beside you. I promise." He kissed me lovingly on the lips, and breathed. Slow, but deep intakes of breath.

"Why are you doing this?"

"What?"

"You are breathing. You just make it worse for yourself. I don't want you to suffer because I was stupid once again." I hated to see him try to resist my scent.

"I won't have that scent much longer…at least not in that form. And I'm trying to make myself stronger. How should I resist the taste when the smell already drives me crazy?" That made a shiver go down my spine. A good one, though.

"Wanna take a taste?" I teased. Itwas a joke, but what Edward did next shocked me. Even Carlisle looked up from his work on my arm: Edward ran his finger along my wound and then licked the blood off it. His eyes gleamed, but quickly got back to normal, although a lot of shades darker than before.

"Wow…" He breathed, kissing my neck carefuly and then my lips. As he pulled away I looked at him as if … as if he'd just … what to compare it with? As always in such moments I flushed beet red and Edward laid his hand on my cheek, sighing.

"I'll miss the warmth. Your blush. Bella …"

"You'll get everything in return. I promise."

"I don't want to have anything more. You have already given me so much. I should not have wondered if you would finally run if I did what I've just done."

"I take that as an insult. How could you still think I'd run anywhere? Except perhaps to you?"

"So, you two lovebirds. You can go now. Everything ok, Bella?" Carlisle suddenly asked. Edward chuckled at how long it took me to remember that he'd just wrapped my whole left arm in bandage. Instead of an answer he scooped me up and was on his old black sofa in an instant.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"Don't be! What for should you be sorry?" I asked, startled how he could once again feel guilty for things he hadn't done.

"For what I've just done. I feel like I used you …" He placed his hand over his face, just like the times we had spoken in Port Angeles and the cafeteria. He was suffering and I didn't quite understand why.

"You're being ridiculos! If somebody should be sorry it would be me! I still don't learn how not to fall and bleed in a house full of vampires. I'm sorry, Edward, and I am proud of you, if I may say this." I took his hand in mine and pulled it off his angelic face.

"Why? I'm a mon-"

"Don't finish that sentence or I …" He smirked.

"You what?" Teasing me was the wrongest thing he could do.

"I'll kiss Mike, tyler and Eric at school tomorrow." I answered with an evil smirk.

"Then I won't let you go tomorrow."

"You have to. My mum will know it if I ditch." I sighed. I had no wishes at all to face everyone, because they had to know about Charlie's death.

"By the way. What did she think when she talked to me? About you and the wedding, I mean." I asked him.

"She doesn't trust me. She fears I'll ditch you right before. She thinks I'm only using you, and she thinks I'm not worth your love after I left you. She doesn't want you to bind yourself so early to a man, and she's worried because we're both still school kids and don't know how we'll afford a life together. And she misses Charlie and Phil. In some points I have to agree." He listed everything matter of factly.

"Where do you have to agree?" How could he ever agree with my mum???

"I feel like I am only using you. I am everything but worth your love. And she doesn't know what to do after she lost her love." He looked into my eyes, his full of agony.

"Don't look at me like this. I hate seeing that look in your eyes. You have never been using me. And I don't know why I should deserve you, not the other way around. You wouldn't leave me ever again, would you?" I whispered.

"I fear I have to make you leave my side tomorrow, I'm sorry, Bella. Alice's seen it becoming sunny…" He stroke my back with his strong hand. I sighed deeply.

"I don't want to face them all without you…"

"I'm sorry, I quite understand you. But we can't change how it is. Now what do you think about doing the same as your mother and go to sleep?" He asked, striking my cheek this time.

"You'll be there, right?" I asked and walked towards the closet as soon as he nodded. My human moment was unusually long, and I quickly grabbed my jogging trousers and holey shirt. Walking over to a chair in the corner to sit down and dress, because I was too tired to stand, I tripped over the carpet and let out a high piercing scream, my face coming nearer to the ground every second. In an instant I felt two cold hands wrapped around me.

"Oh, Bella. What am I going to do with you?" He asked, steadying me to stand on firm ground. Suddenly I recognised that I was only wearing my underwear and bra. And Edward was standing right beside me. I grasped for air and flushed as red as I could. He just laughed.

"Don't worry. I'm not looking, I'm too busy with your face."

"Um … I …" Oh my gosh. How should I put it that I loved him and it was absoulutely irrelevant to me wether he was looking or not.

"You … you know … IloveyousoIdontreallymind…" I flushed even deeper what I hadn't believed possible a few moments ago.

"What do you mean with 'you don't mind'?" He asked, looking straight in my face and taking a step back.

"Hell, I don't mind you being a vampire. I don't mind being in mortal danger around you. I don't mind placing myself into agony and peril for you. I don't mind leaving my world behind for you. So why the bloody hell should I mind wether you are looking or not?" Somehow I managed another shade of red deeper.

"Are you serious? Oh my Bella. I so love you." He kissed my lips, careful as always, and as we parted in our eyes gleamed the same thought: As soon as I would be like him, we wouldn't have to be so careful…

I dressed and we walked to the bed. The next thing I remembered was waking right beside a shining and sparkling angel in the sunlight of his room.


	6. old friends, love and talks

"_Are you serious? Oh my Bella. I so love you." He kissed my lips, careful as always, and as we parted in our eyes gleamed the same thought: As soon as I would be like him, we wouldn't have to be so careful…_

_I dressed and we walked to the bed. The next thing I remembered was waking right beside a shining and sparkling angel in the sunlight of his room._

"Oh, no. Shit weather!" I groaned. He just laughed and made me get dressed. When we sat in the kitchen and I was eating my cereal Irina, Kate and Tanya entered.

"You poor one. Do you really have to go to school?" Tanya asked, really sorry for me.

"Yes, and I think if I don't drive her now she will be late. Bella?" Edward said.

"As if ayone could be late when you drive…" They laughed and I grabbed my bag and slurped so unwillingly and slowly through the kitchen that Edward just scooped me up and sat me in his car.

"You were somewhat more enthusiastic tonight!" He giggled.

"What did I say this time?" I blushed, embarassed that I always had to say stupid things in my sleep.

"That you loved me and couldn't wait until we drove to Alaska the day after tomorrow."

"Oh no! What about my mother?" I asked, suddenly afraid she would have to come with us – or worse we had to cancel he whole affair.

"Don't worry. She'll spend some time with Phil's sister, she lives in Canada and we'll just drop her off on the way up." I was so relieved that I didn't notice we were there, until he kissed me passionately on the lips and I had to go to school. I so didn't want to.

The day was more than boring, and I barely listened to the teachers, since Alice and I spent some time on my school work, for I could never concentrate at school or wherever else Edward was around me. When the bell rung for lunch break I walked to the cafeteria and went towards Angela's, Jessica's and Mike's table, no tray in my hands for I had no appetite without 'my vampires' around me; especially one of them I missed.

"Do you have a spare chair?" I asked politely when approaching them.

"No Cullens today then?" Lauren snapped.

"They're not here today. They've gone hiking." I said.

"Why didn't you go with them?" Jessica asked.

"My mom's in town and she didn't want me to ditch school."

"I'm sorry about what happened to your father." Angela smiled at me, but I was distracted by the mischievous grin Jessica and Mike exchanged.

"What? Oh, it's ok. We parted at good terms. That's the most important." I answered halfheartedly.

"Bella? Could we talk, please? I want to apologize for what I said last week." Jessica suddenly asked me. I nodded and the two of us walked out of the cafeteria and over towards the little forest and the gym.

"What did you want to say, Jess?" I asked.

"I want to say that I haven't forgotten how you talked to me last week and I was seriously hurt by what you accused me of. And I told you I would get revenge." We were in the entrance of the gym, I thought because that was what our next clas was supposed to be, when it dawned on me that we had English II before gym.

"What do you mean by that Jess?" I wondered when suddenly two hands grabbed me from behind and pulled me into the room where the old gym mats and broken sports items were stored and that nobody usually entered. I turned around to the door to face my capturer, only to see Mike Newton lock it.

"Mike!" I spat.

"Yes, Isabella. I am here to get revenge for both, me and Jessica. You treated us like mud. She wanted to be your friend, I wanted you to love me."

"Jessica only wanted to use me to better up her image, and you were always a friend of mine, but I never felt anything for you.I love Edward, and I always will." I said. My hands and knees were shaking. I felt like in that street in Port Angeles, now nearly two years ago. Smash his nose into his brain and stick the fingers into his eyes, and then the classical: knee into the happy zone.

"But you should. I'm a million times better than Cullen." He walked towards me and I stepped back, only to end against the mats in the corner of the small room. He pushed me on the chest and I fell backwards onto the pile. He came closer and I started to scream. Scream my soul out and tears running down my cheeks.

"EDWARD! EDWARD!!! ALICE ! EDWARD!!! Edward ! … Edw …!" Mike had glued my mouth with big tape after having stuffed a cloth into it before. He slapped me across the face. Suddenly I felt his hands on me, ripping off my blouse violently.

"Stop screaming! You can't escape me, and your precious Edward is not here." He screamed at me. Why had they gone hunting? Even if Alice had seen this they wouldn't be able to be here soon enough.

_Stoplight lock the door_

_Don't look back_

_Undress in the dark_

_And hide from you_

_All of you_

I could feel him peel off my jeans…I wanted so badly to scream, but I couldn't … I wanted to hit him, but my body wouldn't move …

_You'll never know the way_

_Your words have haunted me _

_I can't believe you'd ask these things of me_

_You don't know me_

Why? Why did he do this? I'd never thought he would be that kind of a guy.

_You belong to me _

_My snow white queen_

_There's nowhere to run_

_So let's just get it over with _

_Soon I know you'll see_

_You're just like me_

_Don't scream anymore my love_

_Cause all I want is you_

I kicked him and tried to hit him, but he didn't mind. He just taped my hands and feet together…

_Wake up in a dream_

_Frozen fear_

_All your hands on me_

_I can't scream_

I was frozen in my fear. I was so helpless. He was trying to rape me. Why?

_I can't describe the twisted way_

_You think of me_

_I feel you in my dreams and I don't sleep_

_I don't sleep_

What would Edward say if he found out? He would kill him. He deserved it. But would he still want me like this. I watched in fear as Mike started to unbutton his shirt.…

_You belong to me _

_My snow white queen_

_There's nowhere to run_

_So let's just get it over with _

_Soon I know you'll see_

_You're just like me_

_Don't scream anymore my love_

_Cause all I want is you_

He walked over to me. Slowly. Enjoying every moment of it. I was crying. Oh Edward. Please save me, I thought. I didn't want to lose the opportunity to share my first time with him.…

_I can't save your life_

_Though nothing I bleed for_

_Is more tormenting_

_I'm loosing my mind_

_And you just stand there and stand_

_As my world divides_

Mike placed his hands over my bra. I was so close to losing myself. So close. I knew my world would come crashing down very soon. I tried to scream. I was so helpless and he was touching me all over. Just as he took his hands away from me to remove his trousers my favourite sound in all the world drang to my ear: Edward's roar, mad like burning hell.

_You belong to me _

_My snow white queen_

_There's nowhere to run_

_So let's just get it over with _

_Soon I know you'll see_

_You're just like me_

_Don't scream anymore my love_

_Cause all I want is you_

Suddenly the door flew off its hinges and there stood, like the angels of darkness, Alice and Edward. Wearing dark short trousers, their hands red of blood from their hunt. Alice immediately got a grip on Mike, while Edward ripped away the tape that glued my hands and legs together. Carefully he pulled at the stripe over my mouth and kissed me, pulling the cloth out with his teeth. That almost made me laugh. Almost.

"Edward. Oh Edward!" I desperately slung my arms around him and clung to hin as tightly as I could.

"Shhh … it's allright Bella. We are here. I won't let you alone anywhere again. I'm so sorry we weren't there earlier." He tried to sooth me, and felt as irrationally guilty as always.

"I was so close to losing myself, Edward. So close to have my whole world come crashing down. If you and Alice hadn't found me …" I sobbed into his shirt.

"But we have Bella. It's allright. We are here for you and we will always be. I promise." Alice said, handing me my clothes and helping me to get them on again. The buttons of the bluse were ripped, but Alice wouldn't be Alice if she didn't found a solution for problems nobody would have ever cared about in that situation. She knotted the corners together and at last she wiped the strains the tears had left on my cheeks away.

"Thank you Alice. I love you, Edward. Never leave me." I whispered. Choking back more sobs.

"I love you, Bella. You have endured so much for me and because of me. How could I not love you? I am so sorry I wasn't there earlier for you.…Alice?"

"Yes?" She asked innocently.

"Where is Mike?" Edward asked. I flinched at the mentioning of him.

"I told him to get gone. We'll deal with him later. I don't want you to kill him in your rage." She responded. Knowing her brother quite well. What would you expect after at least fifty years?

"He doesn't deserve anything else!" I yelled. I was so mad a him; so very pissed I could have killed him myself.

"Let's go home, Bella. Do you want your mother to know?" He asked, cradling me in his arms and runing at high speed to the car park, so nobody would be able to see them sparkle.

"No. No she would ruin everything…" I sighed. I had been so happy with what I could look forward to, and now I had this big bunch of bad luck. Twists of fate…

"Everything is gonna be alright. I promise." Edward said.

"Everything was fine and then …" I started to cry again. He lifted me into his lap and pulled up into a space in front of their house at the same time effortlessly. As he carried me into the living room, everyone was already gathered there, including Alice. She must have run here to fill everybody in about the happenings.

"Bella, darling! Are you allright?" Esme rushed over to where Edward had sat me down on a sofa.

"Of course not, what would you expect? She's nearly been raped!" Rosalie snapped at Esme and carried a box of handkerchiefs over to me. I took them and gave my sister a grateful weak smile.

"Do you want me to rip this filthy little asshole into shreds, little sister?" Emmett asked.

"No need for this, Emmett. We'll teach him a big lesson without harming him more than neccessary." Edward told him. The way he said 'more than neccessary' satisfied me with that idea.

"Your mother's still asleep. She had a psychic breakdown." Carlisle informed me. Thank god.

"Do you want to talk about it, Bella?" Tanya asked carefully. The first rather helpful comment from any of them.

"It was just so … so terrible … he was so close … I nearly died … I was so close to losing myself … I … I … was just so…so very helpless…" I sobbed into her shirt. Only then the others finally noticed what Mike really had done to me. He hadn't harmed my body in any way, but he had harmed my soul just so badly.

"We wil always protect you." Alice said.

"Has anyone of you ever felt like you were losing everything that ever mattered? Has anyone of you ever nearly been raped?" I asked. They just shook their heads and let them hang down, feeling they couldn't help me.

"I have, Bella…" A soft voice came from the background. Everybody turned to Carmen, wide eyed.

"Carmen?" Eleazar asked. Obviously he hadn't known about this.

"I have been raped. I was twenty-three. We were both still human. It was the night before I ran into the froest. I never told you why I ran there, right? We wanted to get married." She whispered.

"Wait – the night before we both got transformed? Why did you never tell me?" Eleazar asked, shocked.

"I was afraid you wouldn't love me anymore if I did. Today I long know that was stupid, but I was just so terrified. I didn't want to ruin everything we had built up. I had lost the only thing that had mattered to me, because I wanted you to take it. I am sorry I never told you, but I know exactly what Bella felt like…how she feels at the moment." She said. If she had been able, she would be crying. I stood up and sat down right beside her, placing my hand on hers. She looked up, surprised.

"Bella… I know that sounds stupid, but you'll get over it if you just cling to the one you love." She smiled.

"Thank you Carmen. I am glad you understand me, but I loath the reason for it. In that room … I thought Edward wouldn't be able to save me this time. I thought everything I had for him would be lost…if Alice hadn't been…" I started to cry again. She placed my head on her shoulder and stroke my hair, soothing me. Now I had three mothers.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Edward whispered, kneeling down in front of us.

"Don't be guilty for things you have nothing to do with." I whispered.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too." He took my face in his hands and softly kissed my lips. Slowly, very careful not to break me, he parted my lips with his tongue and slipped it into my mouth. I did the same the other way around, and we shared our first real kiss, although I had to be careful not to scratch my tongue along his teeth. When we both pulled back because I had to breathe, I was tomato red, but because of excitement. I looked at him and in his eyes sparkled a longing that had nothing to do with my blood…

I was ripped out of my thoughts by the indiscret clapping of the two familys. Darn. I had totally forgotten they were here, so lost had I been in my little moment with Edward. Suddenly an idea popped into my head, but before I could do anything, Alice had already put 'Good Enough' by Evanescence on the stereo. She was brilliant.

Under your spell again

I can't say no to you

Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand

I can't say no to you

I smiled at him, and he understood what I wanted to tell him: I loved him more than the rest of the world. So he stood up, took my hand and we began to dance around the living room.

Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly

Now I can't let go of this dream

I can't breathe but I feel

He twisted me in every direction and suddenly I believed that dancing was really just in the leading. Once again he was right.

Good enough

I feel good enough for you

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you, too. You have always been good enough for me, but I not for you." He whispered back.

Drink up sweet decadence

I can't say no

And I've conpletely lost myself

And I don't mind

I can't say no to you

The rest of the Cullens just smiled at how happy we were and watched us as we danced in our personal heaven. I barely noticed them at all. I was too preoccupied with the angel in my arms.

Shouldn't have let you conquer me completely

Now I can't let go of this dream

Can't believe that I feel

Good enough

I feel good enough

It's been such a long thime coming but I feel good

"I'm so happy you love me." He said. I was shocked, I mean, I knew this, but he had never put it like this.

"I'm so happy you are here." I said.

And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall

Pour real life down on me

Cause I can't hold on to anything this good

Enough

Am I good enough

For you to love me too?

"Why shouldn't I be here?" He asked, probably knowing what I meant.

"This time you don't want me to go on with my life as if you had died in 1918, do you?"

"I could never want that… and to be exact, I never wanted it, although I made it sound like. I want you by my side forever." He kissed my lips very softly.

So take care of what you ask of me

Cause I can't say no

"Can you really not say no when I ask you something?" He asked.

"I can't" I said, but he was once again using his eyes. I gulped. We had stopped with the end of the song, but were still standing in the middle of the room.

"Would you agree to marry me when we come back from Alaska?" He asked, his eyes smoldering my brain to mush.

"Um… I guess…YES!!!" Oops. Was that really my answer? Me who had been against wedding all the time? I guess it was my mom who changed my point of view.

"What's going on down here if I may ask?" The voice of my mother suddenly emerged from the bottom of the stairs. Thinking of the devil…

"We just set a date for our planned wedding." Edward answered as a matter of fact.

"Oh. … … … And when would that be?" She asked dryly.

"When we return from our Alaska vacation." I said.

"You mean…in three weeks?"

"Yes." I simply answered.

"We thought it would be the best time. That one Saturday would be the best date…"

"You know what this means, Bella?" Alice asked.

"Um…no?"

"We have to take you shopping for a dress!"

"Alice? Um … could I … could my mom help? I mean, I always pictured doing this with my mother of all people." I akwardly asked her.

"That would make Esme, Rose your mother, you and me. We'll all fit into the car, so why not? Of course Bella, whatever you wish, sis." She smiled and hugged me sisterly.

"But we're not gonna go until after the vacation. Maybe otherwise she won't fit into it afterwards." Rosalie interrupted her, forming her sentence so my mother wouldn't grasp the situation. I asked myself wether and when we would tell her. I wanted her to know I was going to marry a vampire, but I didn't know how to tell her. Edward, of course, seemed to read my face as I looked back and forth between us and my mom.

"Carlisle? Could Bella and I talk to you in your office?" Edward asked him.

"Of course, Edward. Now?" Edward nodded and we followed Carlisle into his office, where we took seats in front of his desk while he sat down behind it. I was awkward and didn't know what to say or how to start about it. But Carlisle started the conversation for us.

"So you both have completely thought and talked this through, I guess. What is it that hasn't already been talked about?"

"Well, you see, Bella wants to tell her mother about us so she doesn't have to hurt her, but at the same time she wonders wether she wouldn't be in danger if we told her." Edward asked, rubbing circles on the back of my hand with his thumb to ease my awkwardness about that topic.

"Bella, of course we can tell her. But you will have to do the job or she surely won't take it in. You see, if you tell her it just looks like we are all ok about it, including you. If we do it it doesn't, right?" He said fatherly.

"I know, but still … I'm afraid." I whispered.

"What are you afraid of?" Edward asked, looking at me. I looked back.

"Of what I should say. Do you think she'll react well if I just tell her 'Sorry mom, but I'm going to marry a vampire and when I come back from Alaska I will be dead in order to be with him!' ?" I asked hysterically. Carlisle chuckled.

"Just talk to her like you did when you were telling her about Edward being your boyfriend." He offered.

"I never told her, remember? When she first met him I was unconciousness in a hospital in Phoenix because of some reason you'll remember…" I said, worried sick about what to tell her.

"Bella.…I know you'll manage that. You are a very intelligent young woman, and I'm sure your sorrow is not reasonable, because you've done so much for your relationship with Edward that a few words to your mother should be no problem. Look back. You were nearly killed by James, because you thought he had your mother and didn't want her or Edward to get hurt. You brought yourself close to getting killed by the Volturi, because you wanted to save Edward's life, although you didn't even really know if he still loved you, you just did. And all the time you even want Edward to kill you himself so you can be with him forever. Do you really think a few words to your mother are such a big deal?" He asked. How much Edward would ever be able to sooth me, he wouldn't have just confronted me with the facts, like Carlisle just did, and he knew this was the only way to open my eyes, and he was right.

"You don't now my mother, Carlisle. She can be very difficult. I am afraid she will scream into my face and try to get me away from you and Edward and the family. I don't want to breake up contact with her, that's the whole reason I want to tell her, after all." I said. But the words I could say to her were already forming in my head and they even sounded logical.

"Don't worry Bella. We are there, remember? If you need any help, we'll be there for you in a second, and you know with us being what we are this isn't just meant metaphoric. You can count on every single one of us." He winked at me.

"I don't want you to have to prove it to her… I still clearly remember the first time I really saw through Edward, that Satuday in the meadow." I whispered.

"You were afraid of me that day, weren't you?" He asked in a low voice, taking me in his arms and onto his lap.

"So very, although I always vowed to myself to not ever tell you, because I thought you would be just so satisfied with yourself if I did. You showed me your inhuman side that day and believe me, that was the only time I was ever really afraid of you. That day, I thought I was the prey and you the predator…"

"Oh, Bella. I'm sorry. You know, I never wanted to frighten you… you should have told me, nothingtheless. I love you, you know this, right?" He buried his face in my hair.

"I know. I will always love you, whatever happens…you know this, too, right?"

"Yes I know, but what should happen? Soon we can be happy together forever." He promised.

"No what-ifs on your side?" I teased.

"No, on your?" He asked, a bit shocked.

"We'll see… where's my mom?" I asked cautiously. He chuckled and led me to the door of her guest room. Then I turned around to face him.

"You'll be here, right? Whatever the talk will bring?" I asked. Instead of an answer he smiled my favourite crooked smile and kissed my throat softly. I smiled back and made my way into my mother's room.

She was sitting on the bed, a picture of herself and Phil in her hands, a tear in the corner of her eye. I slowly walked to her side and sat down beside her, placing my hand on hers, whith which she was still holding the photo. I softly pushed her hands back into her lap and made her look at me. I wiped the tears off her face and whispered:

"I love you, mom…"

"I love you, my little Bell. I don't want to lose you … not now, not ever …" She whispered back.

"Mom … can we talk?" I asked cautiously.

"It's about Edward and your wedding, right?" She asked me and I could read it clearly in her face, that she was happy for me, but still didn't trust Edward and the whole situation. She probably knew that I wouldn't just marry him and then run away in a few months, like she did with Charlie. Her motherly instinct sensed that this would be forever.

"I have some things I want to tell you…"


	7. talks, freaking out and payback

"_Mom … can we talk?" I asked cautiously. _

"_It's about Edward and your wedding, right?" She asked me and I could read it clearly in her face, that she was happy for me, but still didn't trust Edward and the whole situation. She probably knew that I wouldn't just marry him and then run away in a few months, like she did with Charlie. Her motherly instinct sensed that this would be forever._

"_There is something I have to tell you…"_

"I knew it. You're pregnant, right?" She asked hysterically.

"You don't have to marry him, and you don't even have to have the baby." She started to rant.

"Mom?"

"It isn't like twenty years ago, you know. Somehow we'll get the money and…" She continued, not listening to me.

"Mom!"

"I don't want you to marry him if it's just because of the baby…"

"MOM!" I shouted. She looked at me.

"Mom, calm down. Edward's the last man I would get pregnant from." I tried to explain.

"What do you mean? You don't want him, but he forces you? That's why you cried…. Bella, honey, I swear you don't have to…" She blurred out. Was that really what she thought of mine and Edward's relationship? Me being pregnant – or worse – not wanting him, but being forced?

"MOM!!! CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" I shouted at her. I hadn't wanted to yell at her, but somehow I couldn't hold it back. She looked at me, shocked, her jaw fell down and her eyes wide open. I had never been a person to get loud, but, if you thought about it, I hadn't ever been a person to marry at the age of eighteen.

"I am not pregnant and I love Edward more than my life. And this is exactly the point I want to talk to you about. You see … Edward and his family are not like most people … let me try to explain … they have certain abilities … how shall I put it? You will have noticed they are all very beautiful, right?" She nodded.

"What are you getting at, Bella? Do you want to tell me they are abnormal? I can't picture that…not these people, at least not Carlisle and Esme…" She asked, looking at me like I wasn't aware of what I was talking about.

"They aren't like everyone else, you see … they are vampires." I let every bit of caution drop, and hoped she would take it in better than I thought she would. She didn't believe me.

"Um… Bella… April fool's day is in two weeks…" She looked at me like I was insane.

"This isn't a joke, mom. It's true, they are all vampires." I didn't know what to do if she didn't believe me.

"You mean like … sleeping in coffins – vampires?" She asked, a slight frown crossing her face.

"They don't in coffins; they don't sleep at all…" Her froen deepened.

"Like … not being able to come out in daylight – vampires?" She asked in a mocking tone with a look out of the window.

"They can come out during daytime, but they sparkle in the sun like diamonds, that'S why they live in Forks." I said.

"Oh, right, so I guess you haven't seen this?" She looked like she was going to stand up, storm downstairs and ask every single one of them what they had done with her daughter. I could tell her – I had unconditionally fallen in love with Edward – he had bewitched me.

"Yes I have. A few times now…" I was close to absolute despair.

"Let me see … you mean like in … drinking blood – vampires." She whispered the last part, obviously slowly grasping the fact I was completely serious.

"Yes–" My mother let out an ear breaking, high pitched scream of terror at the thought and then burst into hysteria.

"No, don't tell me … it's ok, give me the number of the mental asylum … I'm hearing my own daughter speaking about vampires." I couldn't take it. I sunk to the floor and started crying. Tears ran down my cheek, but I tried not to sob, because I didn't want my mother to really notice me crying. Foolish - she was still my mother.

"Bella? Bella, honey, are you crying? I'm sorry…" She didn' know what to do.

"Mom … believe me, only this single time, I am completel serious. Edward and his family are vampires. So are the Denalis." I sighed and looked at her.

"But if that's true – wouldn't they be more than dangerous for you? If they are actually drinking blood, I mean." Now it was real concern.

"Partially yea, but they never drink human blood, only the blood of animals. They all have learned to supress their thirst for human blood, although Jasper still has his problems, and they aren't completely immune to it when they smell us." I explained slowly and in a low voice. She seemed even more concerned when I said "us".

"Then why are you with them? They could kill you, and you of all people won't manage to run away, no offense darling, but I am afraid of the thought of you being hurt by them…" She was a bit afraid, I could tell by the way she pulled up her shoulders to the sides of her neck, although she tried to not make me notice by placing her elbows on her knees at the same time.

"I won't be able to run away. They are faster than a sports car when they run, believe me, Edward's shown me. They are strong mum, unbelievably strong, strong enough to rip a tree out of the ground. And they see, hear and feel much much more than we humans do. If only one of them decided to hurt us at any moment, we wouldn't have the slightest bit of a chance." Now she seemed terrified, even more because I had whispered the whole part, since the last fact even still frightened me sometimes.

"Is that why you do this? Because you are afraid? Do they force you?" She whispered back.

"No, mom. I love Edward. They would never force me, they are really nice people… they have already saved my life. Mom … are you afraid?" I was carful of what to say.

"I am. Terrified actually. I don't believe you aren't." She looked at me like a bird with a broken wing that's hearing the cat approach.

"No, I'm not afraid. There's not a single vampire in the house that would hurt you on purpose." I grabbed her hand, but suddenly she pushed my pullover's arm back and saw the bandage, a bit bloody because of the accident with the flower bowl, and thicker around my wrist where Emmett had unintentionally hit me.

"And what's this?" She sounded panicked, maybe because there was a little blood on the bandage, but probably just because of the thought that they had hurt me.

"Mom, it's nothing. I fell into a flower-vase. Some shards ripped my arm. Nothing serious, and Carlisle's a doctor after all." I tried to calm her down.

"And the hand? What happened to your wrist?" Who else would have noticed that? Probably these were the things only mothers were able to see…

"Just an accident…" I mumbled, but the way I said it immediately brought her into the right direction.

"Just an accident? Don't tell me one of them 'accidentally' hurt you!?" Renee was close to getting furious. Hadn't I just told her they were harmless … well, as harmless as they could be, all things considered. I mean – they are vampires after all. I looked down.

"Emmett hit Edward and accidentally brushed across me… it's nothing, really." I mumbled, hpoing against hope she would calm down.

"If this was accidentally, then how would it look if one of them hurt you on purpose…?" Darn… somehow I had known that this question was to come. Answer? No idea.

"If a vampire hurt me on purpose I wouldn't be here anymore. Or I'd look as if I had fallen down two flights of stairs and through a window …" Darn, darn, darn. I shouldn'T have said that.

"That was them? And they still have the nerve to show up here? I could never believe that this had been the whole story… which one do I have to kill for that?" She was pissed beyond reason.

"It wasn't one of them. It was another vampire. One that hunted humans…and he wanted to kill me. I escaped from their protection to meet him, because I was under the impression he'd captured you. He tried to kill me … in the ballet studio around the corner of our house in Phoenix.…" My mom suddenly understood. The instant I had said 'because I was under the impression he'd captured you', she knew why I had told her all this. She knew that I did it for her, because I loved her and didn't want her to stay in the dark.

"Because of me? Bella… I'm sorry… I love you. But there's more right? A reason more you told me all this …

"Yes mom … you see … I love Edward, more than my life, literally… and I want to be together with him forever. Forever beautiful, forever strong, forever eighteen, forever w i t h h i m … mom … I want to be on of them." She was shocked. I looked down, but she placed her hand under my chin and made me face her.

"So that's why … and you have thought this through?" Her voice was full of motherly sorrow and agony.

"It's taken me forever to convince Edward to change me into one of them. I have talked this through with him and Carlisle many times … we have agreed to do it when we're up in Alaska. That's why you had to know, because otherwise I would have had to leave you behind … and I couldn't stand that. But promise me not to tell anybody, human or not, oudside of this house."

"And that is what makes you happy?" She was so concerned, and I understood this. I had always been her only child and she had always wanted me to have the life I wanted, but before I had met Edward, that had been so very different.

"More than happy, mom." I hugged her tightly.

"One more question … how does he … make you one of them?" I had been glad she hadn't asked. Why did she have to make things difficult? I couldn't lie to her.

"He bites me. They're poisonous and when he's bitten me the venom will spread through my body and transform it. It takes about three days and is completed as soon as the heart stops beating." I sighed. Better let out the pain.

"That means … you'll be technically … dead? Does it hurt?" She whispered, too afraid to say it oud aloud.

"Yes. I'll be dead. And yes, it does hurt. When he bites me, that will be painful, but the three days of the transformation will be terrible agony and pure hell." I said matter if factly, but my stomach turned at the thought. I would make it through, I had to tell myself. For me, for Edward, for forever. My mom however got a complete shock.

"Are you insane? I won't allow something like this. You're coming to Jacksonville with me. I don't let my daughter be killed by some guy who just wants to use her and drop her after a few years at the most. I absolutely won't allow that! Get your things, we're going." This as the reaction I had feared the whole time. This was my mother: Irrational, unfair and always the adult in the wrong situation.

"Mom, drop it. I don't want you to allow it. I'm eighteen. If you swear not to tell anyone you can go, but I am staying where I am, because where I am is where I belong. You can't force me, but if you try … remember what I've told you about them." I was pissed. Why did she have to ruin everything? She went pale as I threatened her with the Cullens…

"I … I … do you mean this, Bella?" She stuttered. I felt bad. I hadn't wanted this.

"No I don't, but what I mean is this: Either choose to accept it or choose to get gone." I didn't want to hurt her, but this was the only way I could make her accept my choice.

"I'm sorry Bella … of course I want you to be happy, but still … I'm worried, don't you understand this? I'm your mother after all … be happy, darling, but promise to stay in touch with me, wherever you'll be, as long as I'm still alive." She hugged me ad tears ran down four cheeks.

"Thank you mom. I love you. … Edward.…" I whispered. The door opened and within a second he was beside me. I stood up and he wrapped his arms around my waist, facing my mother while I buried my face in his chest.

"Thank you Mrs Dwyer… I owe you …" He said. She was still unsure of what to say and partly afraid of him now.

"Hardly … just care for my daughter and make her have a happy life … but please … don't hurt her, I couldn't bear seeing her hurt because I couldn't do anything against it …" She whispered.

"She'll be safe with me, I swear. I'll hold her in my arms forever and never let danger come near het…" He replied.

"Can I take you up on that arms around me forever thing?" I asked. Both of them laughed and Edward guided the two of us to the kitchen where Esme had prepared dinner for the two of us.

"Bella, Renee, please sit down. I was so free as to prepare some food for the two of you…" Esme greeted us with her usual warm smile.

"That wouldn't have been neccessary…" Renee mumbled, but I pulled her over to the table.

"Don't even bother to try…it's no use … sometimes I feel like their pet." I told her, she just looked at me incredolously, and Edward and Esme laughed, only to be joined by Alice who entered the room that very moment. I could have sworn I heard some other laughes from upstairs as well, but I couldn't be sure, after all I was no vampire … not yet.

"Hey Bella, guess what?" She asked.

"What's up, Alice?" I asked cautiously. Whenever she was so excited about anything it couldn't be good … at least not for me.

"I've talked to Rose … what would you and your mom think about some shopping tomorrow?" My mom shopping with two vampires? I couldn't picture that. I turned to look at her and she smiled at me encouragingly. She loved shopping. I sighed, and Alice took our expressions as a yes.

"So that's set then. After school we'll drive to Port Angeles." She mused, when Carlisle entered the room.

"Alice, calm down, let Renee some space." He flashed a warm smile at her.

"Than you, Carlisle, it's alright. I'd love to go shopping with your daughters and Bella. … But … would it be possible if I … um … could I talk to you later?" I could guess what her problem was.

"Of course. Bella will lead you to my office, won't you, Bella?" I nodded, but rolled my eyes, but Carlisle just winked at me. When my mom and I had finished our dinner - delicious although I didn't understand how they managed it without tasting it themselves – I led my mom to Carlisle's study, Edward silently following us. I didn't even bother to knock, because I was sure he'd heard us, and soon enough the door opened, revealing a smiling Carlisle.

"Come in, please. Edward, Bella, you two as well." He added as the two of us attempted to turn around. We all took seats in the study and Carlisle opened the conversation.

"So, Renee, what is it that you wanted to talk about?" She flashed a nervous look in my direction, and started.

"You see, Bella told me an incredible story, and … well … are you vampires? I know that sounds ridiculous, but …"

"Yes. Maybe it sounds ridiculous if you hear about it at first, but Bella told you absolute truth. Me and my family are exactly what you would call vampires." He said as a matter of fact. I heard my mother grasp for air. I looked at her and saw her eyes widen, the same reaction as after I told her. She was terrified beyond reason. I stood up and walked over to where she sat, taking her hand in mine.

"Mom, you are being ridiculous." I said.

"I ensure you that there is no reason of fear, neither than there is any risk in being with us. Look at your daugher. She's been with us for nearly one and a half years now and she's still in one piece." Carlisle told Renee, but as he stepped closer ahe jumped out of her chair and rushed towards the door. I couldn't help but stick out my foot to make her trip. She started to scream.

"Mom, it's ok. That was me, it's ok. MUM SHUT THE HELL UP! YOU'RE BEHAVING LIKE A CHILD!" I was pissed. What were Carlisle and Edward thinking? My own mother ran from them.

"Bella?" She looked at me.

"Renee Dwyer, you are behaving like hell. There is no reason to run away, besides, you wouldn't even manage that if you were a world record runner. Remember: This is the family of your daughter's fiance!" I shouted right into her face. She looked at me incredulously, and started to cry. My mother started to cry. I hadn't seen her cry in a long while, but now I let myself fall down right beside her, hugged her and let her sob into my shirt.

"I'm sorry honey. I'm so sorry, belive me, I try not to be afraid, but I can't. I know this sounds crazy, and I know I'm irrational believing this, but my instinct tells me it's true and tells me to get the hell out of here." I stroke her back with my hand and soothed her.

"It's allright mum. It's natural. I don't know why I didn't ever feel that way, but I know I should have felt exactly like you. I'm sorry for bringing you here. Would you rather sleep in a hotel?" I asked carefully.

"No! You can't expect me to run away from the people my daughter's going to marry! I will stay here, for you Bells, even if it kills me." She shuddered.

"Mom … it's ok … hey, it's much safer here than on the plane or maybe even safer than in a car on the highway… just don't freak out again, ok?"

"Ok … please let me sleep a bit. I'm exhausted. Emotionally." She whispered. I helped her up and as she went for the door she turned around to face Edward and his father.

"I'm sorry. What must you think of me? It's ridiculous." Renee said and went out of the room, closing the door behind her. I sighed relieved.

"She's such a …"

"Don't be too harsh with your mother. After all it's the deeling you should have as well when you're with us, but Edward's right … no sense of self-perservation whatsoever." Carlisle laughed wholeheartedly.

"Not you, too!" I pouted. I felt better with them than anywhere else, so why should my mother freak so completely?

"Bella, Alice and the rest of them made a plan while we were here…" Edward started, his tone made me get worried.

"A plan what exactly about?" I asked.

"About how to pay that filthy little pigdog of Mike back, but you have to play along…" He spat Mike's name out like mud, while I flinched at its mentioning.

"Ok, what's the plan?" I asked, happy, though, to get my revenge for what he did to me.

"We'll drive to Newton's Outfitters, where he's working at the moment. Our cars will be parked around the corner, where he can't see them. As soon as he's finished his shift you will be at the door, asking him to walk a few steps with you, think of a possible excuse, and guide him to the edge of the little forest, where we won't be seen. The rest of us will be waiting there, and then …" He explained. I loved the way he trailed off because that meant pain for Mike. Usually I was a non-violent person, but he undenieably deserved the worst.

"So, I guess … let's go kick his filthy butt…" I gulped, not wanting to see his face again.

"Bella, are you sure you are ok with that? We can do this alone if you have problems with it… I don't want to see you suffering from his hand…or face." He smiled my favourite crooked smile and at the same time looked so pained. I loved it when he cared for me, but I hated to see so much agony in his eyes. Did he doubt I would get over it? Did he wonder whether I was too hurt to be with him so soon…?

"Tell me what you are thinking…" I whispered. Carlisle discretely left the room, and Edward walked over to me and took my hands in his.

"I am thinking about how beautiful you are. And that I shouldn't be surprised that somebody wanted to abuse that beauty. And how glad I am that I came soon enough; I couldn't have looked at myself ever again if I really had let him … if I had come too late. But tell me: Did you honestly mean what you told Carmen?" He asked through smoldering eyes.

"What? What did I say?" I whispered to avoid my voice breaking.

"You told her you nearly lost your mind because you were so close to loosing … to loosing what you wanted …you wanted me to share with you?" He was obviously at a loss for words. Of course I meant this. How could he ever doubt something like that? I would give my life for him … actually I was about to give it to him.

"I always mean the things I say… what I wanted to say is: of course I meant this. I would nobody else want to … I wouldn't want anyone but you …" I couldn't find words, either.

"I love you…" He whispered and took my face in his hands to press hiscold lips to mine, crushing my body against his, his eyes speaking of love, gratefulness, love, love, lust … and did I mention love?

"I love you, too. Thank you." I whispered.

"Thank you for what?" He asked, bewildered.

"For everything. For rescuing me so many times. For planning to kick Mike's butt. For saving me from being squeezed by Tyler's car. For saving me from getting killed by James. For saving me from becoming insane when I thought I'd lost you forever. For saving me from the Volturi. For keeping me safe from Victoria. For catching me whenever I fall. For saving me from … from being raped by Mike. For trusting me. For being here for me. For loving me." I looked at him and I knew he was meant for me in the instant he started to answer.

"It was a pleasure for me … but I have to thank you as well. For accepting me as I am … what I am. For loving my family. For taking all the risks that are related to being with us. For saving me from killing myself. For bringing out the human in me. For marrying me. For loving me. For being here." He kissed me, and when he pulled back he started to softly sing a song I couldn't understand.

"What are you singing?" I asked.

"It's a german song, but I can translate it for you:

I have found a treasure

And it's named like you

So beautiful and precious

And not to buy with all the money in this world

You fall asleep beside me

I could look at you all night

Watch you sleep, hear you breathe

Until we wake up in the morning

Hou have managed once again

To steal my breath from me

When you are lying next to me

I can hardly believe it

That someone like me deserves

Something so precious

You are the best thing ever happened to me

It is so nice to have you love me

Forget the world when you are with me.

You are the best thing ever happened to me

It is so nice to have you love me

I tell you not enough, it is wonderful you are here!

Your love is like a drug to me

Like it is not from this earth

Even if your presence was poison

I would stay with you until I die

You leaving would crush the world

But I won't think of it

It is much too nice to be with you

Giving each other our love

Fill me with strength

Take all doubts from my eyes

Tell me 1,000 lies

I would believe them all

But one thing I'd still doubt

That I deserve someone like you

You are the best thing ever happened to me

It is so nice to have you love me

Forget the world when you are with me.

You are the best thing that ever happened to me

It is so nice to have you love me

I tell you not enough, it is wonderful you are here!

When my life's a roller coaster

You are quietness and shelter

Because everything you give

Is just so very good for me.

When I am restless

You are a never ending journey

And so I lay my little big world

Into your so safe hands

You are the best thing ever happened to me

It is so nice to have you love me

Forget the world when you are with me.

You are the best thing that ever happened to me

It is so nice to have you love me

I tell you not enough, it is wonderful you are here!

It's originally called "Das Beste", the best. I had to think about you when I heard it." He whispered.

"You are capable of speaking German?" I couldn't picture my angel anywhere far away.

"I learned it once, while I was in Europe. Actually, what would you think about spending our honeymoon there?" He suddenly asked.

"Where? Germany?" I asked, bewildered.

"No, Europe in general. Germany, Austria, Switzerland, France, Italy. Travelling around . . ." He mused. Obviosly he'd been to Europe several times.

"Aprospos travelling … Bella, I think we should get going, the others are getting impatient."

"Um … are Carmen, Eleazar and the girls going as well?" I wondered if the whole vampire force would come crashing down on Mike.

"No they are staying here in case your mother wakes up. Carmen's coming, though. She knows what he's done to you. They all love you, they are in some way part of our family." He kissed my cheek softly and led me downstairs. They were all waiting for us. We went out, Emmett lightly irritated, because someone had told him he wasn't allowed to kill Mike, when I noticed Jasper was missing. I decided not to ask why, but I assumpted it had something to do with the fact they actually wanted to hurt Mikey-boy. Carlisle, Esme, Edward and I took the S55, while Carmen, Rosalie, Emmett and Alice.

Twenty minutes later the cars were safly hidden in the woods. It had taken us unusually long because Rosalie decided to have Emmett cut some trees down that would otherwise have scratched along her car. Edward kissed my lips to encourage me, and when we saw Mike get his bag I walked slowly, casual looking, through the front door.

"Hey Mike." I said lightly, although inwardly I was shaking with anger and hurt.

"Hey Bella!" Mike said like nothing had ever happened between us. He could he? He would get back what he had done to me. But how should I get him out with me? I spoke slowly to prevent my voice from breaking.

"Look, Mike, I want to talk to you about … this morning. Um … can we get out of here?" I asked, looking at two hikers searching for something in the back of the shop.

"Sure. I'm happy you've seen my point." Did I say that? Very soon he would see my point … and my point hurt. Let me phrase it like that: If you want to get beaten down by seven vampires, just hurt their human family member.

"Can we go back there? I don't want everyone to see us." As we walked over to the forest a small smile formed on his lips. When we reached it I turned to him. Edward had agreed to only intervine as soon as I had given them a sign.

"What are you smirking at?" I asked, still trying to sound casual.

"Like you said, nobody will see us here…" He trailed off, but the meaning of his words was perfectly clear. He wanted to try it again. I wouldn't let him. Not a chance little boy. Before he could react I had already punched him on his nose with my fist. He started to bleed.

"I'm gonna pay you back, you filthy coward. Beg for forgiveness or you won't see the next morning." I spat.

"Oh, yeah. And you would kill me, rght?" He asked sarcastically, wiping the blood from his nose with his shirt.

"Not herself, but I would gladly do the job." Edward had appeared behind me, behind him Emmett and Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Carmen and Rose at either side of them. Even Esme looked terrifying, but I didn't fear them. I looked back at Mike. He did.


	8. payback, old enemies and back again

"_I'm gonna pay you back, you filthy coward. Beg for forgiveness or you won't see the next morning." I spat._

"_Oh, yeah. And you would kill me, rght?" He asked sarcastically, wiping the blood from his nose with his shirt._

"_Not herself, but I would gladly do the job." Edward had appeared behind me, behind him Emmett and Alice, Carlisle, Esme, Carmen and Rose at either side of them. Even Esme looked terrifying, but I didn't fear them. I looked back at Mike. He did._

"You were saying…?" Rosalie asked him, they were circling Mike, Edward stood right beside me.

"I … um … err… what do you want from me?" He stuttered. Poor Mike. Did he really not know?

"You hurt my girl!" Edward growled. I loved the way he called me 'his' girl. I was, nevertheless. I would always be. Forever. That much was for sure by now.

"You filthy little coward hurt my sister and best friend!" Alice kicked him into the stomach and obviously wasn't very careful about it. He fell into the mud, but Emmett grabbed his shirt and pulled him up by the collar.

"You hurt my little sis. You gonna pay for that, I hope you know that!" Mike shook his head in fear, but Emmett smacked his fist against his already bleeding nose. A horrible crashing sound emerged and my stomach rebelled agaist the smell of blood. He grabbed Mike around the neck and passed him to Rosalie.

"So, little boy, you think you can try and hurt my sister without getting punished?" She asked sarcastically. But, in any case, Mike had not yet lost his pride.

"I and little? I gues you haven't seen me standing upright!" That gave her the rest. She kicked his leg until it splintered and he started whining.

"And I won't see you standing very soon…" She let him fall and Carlisle stepped nearer to him.

"Newton," he said calmly. Screaming couldn't have been as frightening. I could see the over three-hundred years old monster that had never taken any hold on him before. "You know who she is?" He asked Mike, who looked more than scared by now. He now knew they could kill him without any effort if they wanted.

"Answer!" Carlisle ordered.

"B – Be – Bella … Bella Swan, Sir." He stuttered.

"That may be right, but actually she is, and that's more important to me right now, a member of the Cullen family. And I don't let any part of that family be hurt. Especially not by such a cowardy little boy." He kicked his other leg and threw him into the mud again.

"I quite agree with my husband." Esme said. Carmen stepped beside her.

"Have you any idea what it does to a woman to be raped? No? I'll tell you. She looses any self-confidence and begins to hate herself. She will think that she is worth less than any other woman who had the right to decide over their virginity themselves. She probably tries to kill herself. Why I know this? I have been raped, boy, and let me tell you: It's the reason for many women to attempt suicide, and that's not a feeling anyone should aim for, or make somebody feel." Together they grabbed each one of his arms and pulled him up so carelessly that both of them broke with a loug crack. They held him at the shoulders, and Carlisle looked at him again.

"Edward, what's left of him is yours." He simply stated. Edward stepped in front of Mike and looked deep into his eyes. Every cell in Mike's body cried with fear.

"You know that I can kill you, Newton. Very easily." He hit him in the upper stomach and I could hear a few ribs break. My stomach turned once more. Mike looked like he would throw up any moment.

"Please –" his voice was husky, "please don't … don't kill me… I won't do anything…" He coughed up blood.

"You know you deserve nothing less. I want to kill you. I really do." Mike flinched. He looked like he was praying his last prayer. "But I'm certainly not the one to decide wether you shall live or not." Mike looked confused. So did I.

"Bella?" Edward asked in a velvet voice. I stepped beside him and he laid his arm around my shoulders. "It's you who has been hurt. You decide if this filthy dog deserves to live." I stared blankly at him.

"Don't kill him." I whispered.

"But Bella…" Edward looked at me with pleading eyes.

"He isn't worth the trouble. We certainly have enough problems to cope with." I stated. He nodded and turned to go.

"These monsters don't deserve you…" Mike whispered. I turned to face him.

"Oh, don't they? I disagree." I kicked his right led and he winced. "Oh, and by the way, it isn't 'monsters' it's 'family'." With that I turned around and fell into Edwards arms who kissed my lips lovingly and scooped me up in his arms to carry me back to the car. They left Mike lying on the muddy grass.

"Won't he tell?" I asked.

"Would you?" Alice asked back from beside me. I shook my head. I would know exactly what happened if I did . . .if Mike did. Edward would get him.

"See? It's shopping time tomorrow!" She whisteled happy tunes. I groaned inwardly. How would my mom take going shopping with these two maniacs? As we sat down in the car I realised how tired I was. The confrontation with Mike had taken the rest of me, physically and emotionally. I fell asleep in Edward's arms on the backseat before we got home.

I woke up to a low whispering beneath me. I heard Alice talk to Edward and decided to act sleeping and listen what they said.

"I had that vision twice now, Edward. She'll get her, but I don't know how and when…" Alice murmured.

"She won't. We have to be on the watch. Just don't let her out of your sight. And she mustn't know that she's still after her, that will only make her nervous. I don't like seeing her in distress." Edward replied. It was obvious who they were talking about, and I had to suppress a shiver. Instead I yawned loudly and tried to look unconcerned.

"Good morning, beauty," he kissed my hair softly.

"Morning, Bella. Still up for shopping?" Alice mused.

"Do I have a choice?" I asked. They just laughed. A simple and plain no was Alice's answer. So I got ready for the trip. I didn't want to go away from Edward. I was afraid she could get me easier if he wasn't on direct watch. I had breakfast, my mom had already eaten an hour ago, and soon we sat in Rosalie's covertible, driving towards Port Angeles. We listened to the music and had small talk, but nothing important, since Renee was still very awkward in their presence.

"Here we are!" Rose stated, and we all got off the car and went into the mall. Alice lead us into a few rather expensive stores and made me try out a few things – a few meaning about fifty different tops and trousers, but Alice could have been worse – but my mom refused to let her buy any of them for me. After a few hours we went into Victoria's Secret. Rosalie had me try out a few more things, but when I was in the dressing rooms a side door opened and a flash of red hair appeared in the chamber beside me. I was trembling when I picked up the sheet of paper that was shoven into my cabin. It read:

_Hello Bella,_

_If you want to get out of this without any of your friends getting hurt, write a letter to your beloved Edward and tell him you don't love him anymore. Give it to your mom and come with me. Either this or you'll die immediately. And everyone else in this shop as well…_

_Victoria_

She had gotten me. I had expected nothing less, so I picked up the empty sheet and pen that laid beside the first letter and began to write. I supposed that Victoria would have a close look on me, so I decided not to write the truth. I wrote:

_Dear Edward,_

_I hope you can frogie me, when I tell you that I don't love you enough to be together wth you forever. Please tell me you an undersand that. You wn't meet me again soon. We'e dfferent people from now on. Forgive me._

_Bell_

I folded it together and stepped out of the cabin.

"Mom?" I cried. She hurried towards me and looked me in the eyes. I couldn't look back, I had to look down.

"Please give Alice this letter. It's for Edward. Please, don't ask any questions. Do it, for me, please…" I added as she tried to protest. She turned around to search for Alice, when Victoria grabbed my hand and dragged me out of the store through a back door. I didn't dare to speak and she didn't want to, so she just pushed me into a car and drove to a very old building outside of town. She opened the door and guided me into a small living room. I sat down on a sofa, trembling in fear. A single tear rolled down my cheek. She stuck her hand out to wipe it away, but I slapped her arm away and turned my head, wiping it hastily away myself.

"Look at me!" She commanded and turned my head violently to make me look at her.

"You have no idea what it cost me to get you, all your little friends are on the watch and then you go and throw yourself so freely in my arms. I would finish you off right here and right now, but sadly I can't. I have to kill somebody else first, I'm afraid. I can't torture you to death when I'm too hungry to even make your nose bleed." She commented, and chained my arms to the sofa with handcuffs. I was unable to speak. She went out, and I started to pray that they would get my message before Victoria could come back.

**Edward's POV**

I couldn't breathe. Alice had run home from Port Angeles because driving wold have taken her too long. Rosalie was still in the mall with Bella's mom. She didn't have a clue what was going on with her daughter. Alice laid the letter out in front of me.

"You think Victoria's gotten her? I can't see anything!" Alice said. About that last fact she was really frustrated.

"Look at the letter, Alice. She's left out single letters. V, i, c, t, o, r, i and a. She wanted to halp us. . . just in case. Wait … do you still have the pen? You said she gave it to you as well." I was panicing. My sweet Bella was once again in mortal danger because of me. I hadn't been at her side all the time like I should have. I hated myself for it. Alice gave me the pen. It was adderessed to a little shabby hotel outside Port Angeles. In the neighbourhood there were a few empty old houses – perfect. Within a few seconds I was out of the door and running to rescue my love. Alice was soon about a mile behind me. It took us five minutes to reach the city, while it would have taken us half an hour by car.

**Back to Bella's POV**

Victoria had been away for fifteen minutes when she came back, her eyes deeply crimson and her mouth twitching into an evil grin. She ripped my handcuffs open without needing a key, so my wrists started bleeding. Coming nearer to me she whispered

"This will be your end, Bella Swan. I will kill you. You will never become pretty Bella Cullen. Say goodbye to your boyfriend. He can't save you this time…"

"Fiance!" I spat. If I had to die I would die while standing up for Edward. She smiled, like that fact made her triumph even bigger. She punched my stomach so I flew against the wall. I heard something crack and I was very sure that it was my left shoulder. I struggled to get up and tried to think of a way how to get rid of her. But I knew that nothing on earth would work. I had seen too many vampires in action to know that nothing could ever stop them.

"Any last wish?" Victoria laughed. I straightened my shoulders, but winced in pain.

"Yes. I wish that you will burn in hell forever. I wish that you meet your cocky tracker mate and your both shreds will burn in hell and in the hell you'll go to then and so on." I spat on her feet to show her my disgust for her.

"Oh, how nice. And who do you think will rip me to shreds in the first instance? Maybe your sweet little lover?" I hated the way she was laughing but soon I felt my skull burst in a second crash into the wall. Blood dripped down my shirt. That scene was all too familiar. Suddenly the wall behind Victoria burst. Instead of just Edward, maybe Alice, like I had still hoped, there were Jacob, Sam, Jasper and Emmett. Jasper turned around immediately and run away from the smell of my blood.

"He's gonna get the others. They are searching in the other houses." Emmett said. Seconds later Carlisle, Esme, Edward, Alice and Rose appeared.

"Bella. Oh my Bella, I thought I had lost you…" Edward kneeled down to my side and helped Carlisle with my wounds, but still held my hand.

"I'm not that easy to finish up!" I chuckled, and then I heard my favourite sound in the world: Edward's relieved laugh.

"Jake … why are you here?" I whispered.

"I don't want you to pick sides. I know your decision. I don't understand it, but I'll have to deal with it. You're still my best friend, Bella. You will always be." He whispered back.

"Thank you… all of you. Edward - I love you." And with that I sank into unconsciousness.

I woke up to a bright light shining into my eyes. As soon as I had gotten used to the light I opened them carefully and saw a huge, but empty room. The wally were grey and the color of the sofa I was lying on had already faded away a long time ago. Nobody was here, but in front of me was a small wooden table with a bottle of water, a glass and a piece of bread. I sat up slowly. My back ached, but I didn't care. All I knew was that Edward wasn't with me, and it looked like he wouldn't ever be again. This had to be another one of Victoria's hiding places. I poured some water into the glass and sniffed on it, but soon figured that she certainly wouldn't pioson me, she had better ways than that. As I took a bite out of the bread I realized that I was hungry and quickly ate all of it and drank everything.

"Feeling good? Did you have a nice dream?" A female voice asked me. Victoria's voice was nice, but not as silken as the Cullens'. To think of them hurt my heart. I hoped against the fact that I knew they would never find me here, wherever here was, that Edward would soon come and rescue me.

"Good? No. But you don't care, do you?" Why be polite to the person who is going to kill you in the next few minutes?

"What have I done to you – yet?" She asked, mocking hurt.

"Nothing. Just killed my father, my aunt and my mother's husband –"

"Your aunt?" She asked, obviously not informed about the fact that my mother was still alive. Whoops. But I could tell her. If she killed me mom wouldn't matter to her, and if Edward saved me she wouldn't survive it.

"On the plane you asked for Mrs Higginbottom. My mom was travelling with her twin sister, because my aunt wanted to see e again, so mom just took her along. Mom was on the toilet at that moment and my aunt answered you, because my mother's name is Dwyer; she married Phil three years ago." Victoria swore, but quickly looked at me again with a smile.

"Well, I guess we don't need either anymore. And why do you care? They would have died eventually. You're all human after all. And your dad wasn't my fault." She laughed, sounding like someone who should be taken into intensive care in a mental asylum.

"Where are we?" I plainly asked.

"Victoria. Nice name for a city, don't you think. I wanted you out of the country. This building should have been a hotel, but the owner … disappeared one day." She chuckled evilly.

"Why did you bring me here?" I wasn't interested, but while she was talking she wouldn't kill me. My talking would give Edward time to find me. I really hoped he would.

"To not cause any trouble." She simply stated.

"You caused a lot of trouble in the reservation and within our family. And you have taken me away from the man I love." A single tear rolled down my cheek at the thought of never getting to see Edward ever again. Never getting to hear his silken voice, smell his irresistible scent again…

"Our family? Do you honestly see yourself as one of them? Oh girl, come on, you don't believe that, do you. If anything then you are their pet. You're going to die and they are going to live forever, so why should they care for a weak little human?" I felt the urge to hit her.

"They love me. Edward loves me. And it will be that way forever." Tears started to run down my cheeks. Victoria started to laugh. I couldn't stand it anymore, I knew I was being stupid and probably making my situation a lot worse than it was already.

"Why don't you kill me already? You said you wanted to torture me to death. Are you aware of the fact that you are already doing it? You took me away from Edward, while today was meant to be the happiest day in my life. He was going to transform me. We were going to marry in a few weeks. Now I won't even see him anymore. You and your beloved James had years and years together. We have never even had one day we could be truly together. I would have gotten the chance – now I will never get it. I HATE YOU!!!" I jumped off the sofa and tried to run towards the door. Pathetic attemp, I knew, but I was too upset to think clearly anymore.

"Did I say that torturing is only physically possible? To not know weather you are alive or not is torturing your – fiance if i got that right – more than being sure of your death." She smiled. I could kill you now, little Bella. But I have time. Edward will never find you. Alice can't see you, that's my gift, to block myself from being seen, and for Edward to hear me he would have to be close enough. We are so high that he would have to be in or right above the building to be able to do that." I looked out of the window. She was right. I sighed and sat down on the sofa again.

"And what are you planning on doing until he comes? Because he will come." I sighed once more.

"How about a game of chess?" I was perplex. She took out a chessboard with the white figures all female, the queen looking like a bride, the king was the bride's mother, knight, bishop and rook all looking like brisemaids and the pawns all looking like little girls with flowers; and the black alike, but for the male side. She was right, this was worse than all pain in the world. It hurt.

Christina Aguilera - Hurt 

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face  
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away  
Christina If only I know what I know today  
Ooh, ooh

If I had known I wouldn't see him ever again I would never have gone shopping with Alice and Rosalie. I wouldn't have ever left him. Why didn't Alice see this?

I would hold you in my arms  
AguileraI would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you've done  
HurtForgive all your mistakes  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
SongtexteTo hear your voice again  
Sometimes I wanna call you  
But I know you won't be there

I wanted to be in Edward's arms again. I yearned for his cool touch and his silken voice. He would be so upset when he got my letter. I could only hope he was bright enough to decipher my message before starting into a head-over-heel searching party. This moment it didn't matter to me if he would marry me or if he would change me. I would give anything for a last short moment in his arms.  
Songtext   
Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you  
For everything I just couldn't do  
LyricsAnd I've hurt myself by hurting you

I was so hurt by the fact I had to hurt him in order for him not to get hurt. There was too much hurt in my mind, and probably his, too. I couldn't bear it.

Some days I feel broken inside but I won't admit  
LyricSometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss  
LiedertexteAnd it's so hard to say goodbye  
When it comes to this, oooh

I missed him so badly and I was positive it couldn't have been more than half a day since I left him. It was incredible just how much I depeded on him … too much to be apart.  
Liedertext  
Would you tell me I was wrong?  
Would you help me understand?  
AlleAre you looking down upon me?  
Are you proud of who I am?

What would he think when he got my letter? I was sure he wouldn't believe the content. He would break down in fear for me. He would blame himself for leaving me alone. Maybe he would blame Alice and Rosalie because they left me out of their eyesight.

Christina   
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To have just one more chance  
AguileraTo look into your eyes  
And see you looking back

I wanted so bad for him to just storm through the door and get me out of here, ripping Victoria into shreds. But he wouldn't ever find me. There was no way he could come to the point he would find me in this goddamnned place.

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you  
HurtFor everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself, ohh

I was so sorry for every single argument we ever had. I suddenly found it so irrational that I wanted to be with him forever – at the moment I just wanted one single little moment with him.  
Songtexte   
If I had just one more day  
I would tell you how much that I've missed you  
SongtextSince you've been away  
Ooh, it's dangerous  
It's so out of line  
LyricsTo try and turn back time

Please Edward, find me here. I know it's impossible, but you always used to manage just everything…

I'm sorry for blaming you  
LyricFor everything I just couldn't do

Edward … find me … Edward

And I've hurt myself by hurting you Liedertexte

Oh my Edward …

**Edward's POV**

Alice and I arrived at the little houses. I recognised Bella's schent, so did Alice, and together we raced towards one minor building. She had left it about half an hour ago, that much could we get from the fading scent.

"Alice, you go search upstairs for some hint where they could be now. I'm staying down here." The first floor was just the corridor and the living room with an integrated bed. On the foot of the sofa there were two handcuffs hanging, one of them a bit bloody. I fell to the ground and ripped them off to sniff on the bloody one. Bella's delicious scent filled my senses, and if I could have cried tears would have been flowing freely, but I had lost that feeling long ago.

"Bella, oh my Bella, will I ever see you again?" If I got her back, I wouldn't be hasitant anymore. I didn't want to loose her ever again. I would take the chance that I had refused to take probably once too often, if it was given to me once more. I wanted to make her mine forever, never had that thought been so clearly in my mind. She wouldn't be warm to comfort me, but she would be there to comfort me forever. She wouldn't blush, but she would love me more than ever, I knew that. She wouldn't be clumsy anymore, but at least she could defend herself then.

I stood up and ripped the drawers out of the cupboard beside the bed and searched through the content. Death notes and obituaries of the people she had killed. My stomach turned in disgust. I started to put them back when a newspaper article fell into my hands. A picture of a huge, not nearly finished hotel building. But it was the headline that caughed my attention. It read: _Hotel tycoon misteriously disappeared_ caption: _his bride Victoria had to be sent into therapy_. That wasn't accidently in her collection. And to top off everything the name of the city – it was in Canada – was _Victoria_. She as his 'bride' would have heired the building, but why should she complete it? That was it. The best of all hiding places. And Victoria was arrogant, more than other normal vampires ever were – she would love a city named like her.

"Alice, that's it. We're on the way to Canada!" I called.

"What?" She asked, standing in front of me within a second.

"Victoria. She has an unfinished hotel building in Victoria, Canada. I bet she's hiding there." With that I rushed outside and home to collect the family. As I entered the main room, they were all waiting there for news.

"Victoria had taken her to one of the houses, but they left not too long ago. I think they are in Victoria, Canada. She's heired an unfinished hotel there, the perfect hiding place, and I bet she loves that city, arrogant as she is."

"Carlisle, how fast?" Eleazar asked.

"Three hours. No car." He answered.

"It's running then." Emmett stated.

"Get going, my sister's in trouble!" Rosalie said and pushed Emmett and Jasper out of the room. I smiled, she'd always liked Bella, she was just too sceptical.

"Let's hunt that bitch!" Tanya called. Nobody needed more – we ran at top speed, faster than any car could have been, nobody talking, and within three hours, like Carlisle had announced, we reached Victoria. We stepped out of the woods around the city, but behind us someone else emerged.

"Where to now?" I turned around to see Jacob, Sam, Paul, Jared, Embry and Quil behind us. Eleazar was furious, so were all of the Denalis. Carlisle held them back.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

"The only thing that could have made all of you run this fast into any direction is Bella in trouble. I followed you and they decided to follow me. I'm still Bella's friend, at least I hope so after all the mistakes I made." Jacob said, hanging his head at the last part. Eleazar looked like he was going to shout at Jacob but I plainly said.

"It's no use fighting now, we're all here on the same purpose: rescuing Bella. And we have no time to lose. You see the huge building in the East? That's it. In case Bella is still alive try not to make Victoria aware of anyone being here." I felt a pang in my dead heart. I refused to think anything else but that Bella was alive and whole. Victoria was selish and cruel, but not stupid. She would know that knowing that I wouldn't be able to come and rescue her and waiting with slowly fading hope was the worst thing she could do to her. And she knew that it would be worse for me to search and search and not find her than knowing she was dead.

As we arrived at the building I lead the search. To not make the smallest noise everyone thought his questions to me.

Alice: _Where is she, I want to be closest. With you of course. _'Stay next to me' I pointed to her with my finger.

Rose: _Ennett, Jasper and I will be at the escapes around you, so she can't flee. _'Ok' I pionted.

Carlisle: _Esme and I will be right behind you. _I left that one uncommented, Carlisle knew when and where he was needed.

Eleazar: _The girls will follow Rosalie and the boys. Carmen and I will make sure she doesn't get out of the building._ 'Stay at the door on the floor beneath her' He nodded.

Sam: _What are we going to do?_

Jacob: _I want to be as close to bella as possible._ Sam sent him a look, Jacob just looked back. There was some leadership-war coming, I could sense that much. 'Make a circle and close it carefully around us' That way it was ensured that she couldn't escape us.

Just as everyone else was situated Alice and I made our way towards the door I heard a scream – my beautiful Bella was screaming. Yelling into Victoria's face, that much could I understand. She was so very brave, my Bella. Alice nodded and we sprinted upstairs. Just as we reached Carlisle and Esme I looked at my father.

_Go, rescue her. I am proud of you my son. And I see the decision in your eyes. Kill her and when we are safe up in Alaska take what_ _you have maybe too long refused to take, but what will make you happy. I trust you and so does she, now don't let her wait, or Victoria may lose her patience._ I didn't have to answer, I just ripped the door out of the frame.

**Bella's POV**

"Isn't this beautiful? Crying with hapiness." Victoria mused. I looked at the chessboard and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"Imagine you are the lovely little white princess and Edward is your little black prince. It's a pity that in this game the prince is coming to thwart you…your prince charming would never hurt you, would he? He's your knight in shining armour. Your light in the dark, but that's wrong. Don't you see it? He's the dark in your life of light. He will kill you-" I couldn'T stand this. I threw her little chessboard off the table and kicked the table to her feet.

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW? YOU'RE A BITCH, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LOVE! I HATE YOU! WAIT TILL EDWARD COMES, HE WILL KILL YOU, AND I WILL BE GLAD ABOUT IT! I WILL BE SATISFIED WHEN THE SICK AND MAD LIGHT LEAVES YOUR EYES!" I took the table with such force that it surprised me that I could be so strong. I tried to hit her head with it, but she caught it with vampire speed and threw it through the glass of the window. She looked at me like she would go for me now. She was about to kill me when suddenly the door behind her flew off it's hinges. I used the moment to jump to the side and press myself to the wall, slowly sitting on the ground, knowing that now there was nothing I had to fear.

Edward jumped on Victoria's back, before she even knew what was going on. With a stomach-turning noise he twisted her head and broke her neck. Behind him Emmett and Jacob took the job of killing her completely, but gladly they went a few floors down. The last I saw of her were her red eyes slowly fading to grey. Edward rushed to my side and pulled me into his arms. Suddenly I felt too exhausted to say anything, I just started to cry. He rubbed circles on my back and kissed my tears away while Alice said things like 'It's ok now, Bella', 'We're here' and 'You are so brave'. After what seemed to be hours but actually were about fifteen minutes of crying I sniffed, wiped the tears away with my hand and looked at the two of them.

"Thank you. I'm so sorry, I should have been more careful. In the mall, and just a few minutes ago when I lost my temper with her. All these times she could have easily killed me, and I did nothing to keep myself safe. I'm so sorry Edward."

"You're one of a kind, Bella. Once again I endangered your life and you apologise for it."

"You should apologise to her." That harsh voice made me look up from the beautiful face in front of me.

"Jake? Why are you here?" I asked, perplex.

"Should I go? I'd understand you, the last time we talked I was anything but friendly…"

"No Jacob. It's nice to know you still care. You will always be my friend, and I know I wasn't always fair to you, but you know that I love Edward, right?" I was glad he would still talk to me after anything that had happened.

"I do, Bella, I do. I just want you to be safe.…" He let his head hang down a bit.

"Trust me Jake, there's the right girl waiting for you anywhere outside this building," I winked at him. He smiled and pulled a photo out of his pocket. I looked at him sceptically, then at the photo. He was on the beach with a girl, obviously from the reservation with her dark skin and black hair. She had a pretty face and looked like really in love with him. I smiled.

"No comment?" Jake teased.

"No comment." I stated, but laughed. I stood up from Edwards arms and hugged Jacob. I heard a low growl behind me that soon changed into a sound somebody made whose sister had just rammed her elbow into his side. I stepped back.

"You've got to get going, Bella, your mom will be wondering where you are." Jake said.

"Oh my – how long?" I asked Alice. She bit her lip.

"Shopping was about 11 this morning. It's about four pm. Your mom's worried sick."

"Did you tell her what happened?" I was panicing. If they had, and I hoped against hope that they hadn't, she would certainly not let me just go off to Alaska. She'd throw a fit and act like the adult once more, not knowing how childish that was in her case.

"We couldn't not have told her…" She answered. I sighed.

"How difficult was she?"

"Not so much. She handled it pretty well, she's waiting at home and has agreed to drive when you're back." I was relieved, Renee was always one of my major sorrows.

"So, we'll still be going tomorrow?" I had begun to fear we wouldn't drive to Denali after this thing.

"Of course – that means, only if you want…" He hesitated. Why did he always have to be so hesitant about that?

"I do. And I will always do." I stated. He kissed my hair and lifted me up in his arms to carry me down, where the others were waiting. They started running, but I was emotionally so very exhausted that I fell asleep in his arms.

I woke up when my mom ran out of the house to greet us and tell me how happy she was that I was still alive and whole.


	9. journeys, trust and long awaited

"_Of course – that means, only if you want…" He hesitated. Why did he always have to be so hesitant about that? _

"_I do. And I will always do." I stated. He kissed my hair and lifted me up in his arms to carry me down, where the others were waiting. They started running, but I was emotionally so very exhausted that I fell asleep in his arms. _

_I woke up when my mom ran out of the house to greet us and tell me how happy she was that I was still alive and whole._

"Mom!" I called after Edward had let me down.

"Bella, you're alright. Thank god, I was worried sick. They always get you out of everything, don't they?" She laughed hysterically and hugged me so I couldn't breath.

"Mom, yeah, well I am a trouble magnet after all. What did you do all the time you were waiting? It must have been a long time for you." I tried to change the subject.

"Well, Edward allowed me to play on his grand…" She smiled like a little child with a new doll. Thank god she didn't have to sit and worry all the time. We walked into the house and up to the guest room where she slept.

"You still want to go with them?" Renee asked.

"Yes, why not?" I tried to sound indifferent, but I had foreseen her being difficult. No need for Alice there – that's my mom.

"Then I'll drive back to Jacksonville now. Or I won't be there until tomorrow, Phil's sister Janny is already waiting for me, she thinks we both need something else to think about… be safe, ok?" She kissed my forehead.

"I will, thank you mom… wait, didn't Edward say she lives in Canada?" I wondered.

"We have to sort out Phil's things … heritage and everything …" A tear ran down her left cheek .

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to …" I whispered.

"Don't worry … I know that I can't do anything more for you. You won't listen to me … why should you. I know the best thing and maybe the only thing left for me to do for you is to trust you … and Edward. You, boy – watch out for my daughter. Make her happy."

"I will!" He promised. I hugged her goodbye and watched her walk out of the door.

"She hopes you will still be the same when we are back…" Edward sighed.

"I will."

"No, you won't. You will be dead, cold, unable to blush and not clumsy anymore."

"If that's all…I will still be the same person. I'm her little Bella, your girl, and just good old Bella in every other way." I laughed, sometimes he could be ridiculous.

"You will rely on drinking blood…I don't want that for you…my beautiful Bella, killing…" He stood behind me and laid his arms around my waist, placing his chin on my head. "And Bella, I want you to consider one fact none of us ever mentioned before: You won't be able to have children."

"I know, it doesn't matter." I simply stated. I knew this, and it didn't change anything.

"Are you sure? Bella, women are made to have children, it's their purpose on earth. Every girl has a space in her heart only a child is able to fill…" He stroke my cheek. I turned around and looked into his face.

"It doesn't change anything, Edward."

"I know you say that, but are you sure? Maybe in a few years you wish you could have a child…then I won't be able to give you one, and you won't be able to have one anymore." There was pain in his eyes once again, I didn't like it.

"Edward, don't you understand? It doesn't change anything if I'm with you or anyone else. Let me ask you a simple question: Wouldn't your fine nose have realised it if I had gotten my period just once in our nearly two years together?" I looked down as his jaw dropped.

"You mean – I'm sorry, Bella. If I had known this … but, …since when?" He held me tight to show me that it was no problem that I hadn't told him until now … that he understood.

"I don't know, but I figured at the age of fourteen … it never really was a problem for me, honestly. It's the way it is for me, but most of the time I was happy to be sure that it would never matter to you… I had feard when I figured that I would love someone who had a problem with it …" I had been sure all the time, that it wouldn't be a problem with Edward because he was a vampire.

"I'm sorry, Bella…"

"For what? You shouldn't keep apologising for things that have noting to do with you. I'm just happy it doesn't matter for you." I blushed.

"Why should it matter? Bella … I love you, and I will … forever. It's just too bad that I'm not going to have that blush anymore …" he sighed. "Are you … do you want to go now? Carlisle's already packed the car, and Alice packed your things." I groaned. I didn't want to know what Alice had packed.

"What did she pack? Have I ever seen anything of it?" He chuckled, but I didn't get an answer. Sigh, why did she have to keep spoiling me? "Let's get going."

He took my hand and lead me to the frontyard. Four cars were standing there, doors wide open: Carlisle's Mercedes S55 AMG, Rosalie's BMW M3, Edward's Volvo S60 R and an unknown dark blue BMW X5. I saw Rose handing her keys very unwillingly to Tanya, while she held a distance to Irina and Kate. Tanya had always seemed to be the most careful and quiet of them, so I figured she had the most appropiate driving style. Jasper was leaning under the back of the Mercedes to hold it higher and was talking freely to Emmett who was fixing the winter tires which he was handling with such ease that I thought I should have let him do my last tires as well, then I wouldn't have had to nearly get squished by an empty car. Edward lead me to the Volvo and Alice greeted me happily.

"We're going to drive with you. Emmett and Rosalie will go with Carlisle and Esme, Carmen and Eleazar take the X5 and Rose had to throw a fit before the three girls could have the keys for the M3." She was overexcited, obviously she really liked Alaska.

"How long is the drive?" I asked.

"At our speed … 'bout five hours." Emmett answered. He had suddenly appeared behind me.

"Wait – we've got to go through Canada and the way up from there to Denali???" How fast were they going to drive? They laughed about my shocked face, and Jasper said:

"Just don't look out of the window."

"Everyone departure!" Carlisle called and we settled into the car: Edward driving, me on the passenger's seat and Jasper and Alice in the back. We drove in one line, all about three times the speed limit fast, to the highway. I decided to not look out and turned the stereo on. I found a halfway appropiate channel, turned the volume down, leaned back and closed my eyes.

Nickleback - Far Away 

This time, This place  
Misused, Mistakes  
Too long, Too late  
Who was I to make you wait  
Just one chance  
Just one breath  
Just in case there's just one left  
'Cause you know, you know, you know

I smiled. Another song that reminded me of Edward. Well, ok, everything reminded me of Edward these days.

I love you  
I've loved you all along  
And I missed you  
far away for far too long  
I keep dreaming you'll be with me  
and you'll never go   
Stop breathing if  
I don't see you anymore

I looked at Edward. He smiled and leaned over to kiss me.

"Watch the road!" I screamed in shock. The three of them laughed. I knew, super senses, but still…

On my knees, I'll ask  
Last chance for one last dance  
Cause with you, I'd withstand  
All of hell to hold your hand  
I'd give it all  
I'd give for us  
Give anything but I won't give up  
Cause you know, you know, you know

I'd withstand all of hell to be with him forever. I'd give it all. I'd give for us. I'd give my life and soul for forever with him. That seemed me an uneven trade, but to my favour. I smiled.

So far away  
(So far away)  
far away for far too long  
So far away  
(So far away)  
For far away for far too long  
But you know, you know, you know

"What are you smiling at?" The love of my life asked. I once again recognised the frustration that he couldn't read my mind in his voice.

I wanted  
I wanted you to stay  
Cause I needed  
I need to hear you say   
That I love you  
(I love you)  
I have loved you all along   
And I forgive you  
(and I forgive you)  
For being away for far too long  
So keep breathing  
Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me never let me go  
Keep breathing  
Cause I'm not leaving you anymore  
Believe it  
Hold on to me never let me go  
(Keep breathing)  
Hold on to me never let me go  
(Keep breathing)  
Hold on to me never let me go

"I'm thinking…" I just said.

"About what?" He asked, getting unnerved.

"Well … about me, about you, about us … about our future…" I stared somewhere far away still smiling.

"I love you. I don't deserve you, Bella…" He whispered into my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

"One, you do, don't say that. Two, watch where you are driving. Three, I love you too."

"You two would make a nice soap…" Jasper moaned. Edward laughed and I blushed.

"Honestly Bella, get used to this driving." Alice snorted.

"Edward's driving frightens me, especially when he's not looking at the road."

"Of all the things to frighten you…" Jasper chuckled.

"Where did I hear that one agaim?" I looked at Edward who just shrugged and turned back to the road, following the black Mercedes. I leaned back into the seat and drifted to sleep, although I had a feeling that it wasn't my work … Jasper???

"Bella … Bella, we're there …" Someone whispered into my ear with the sweet voice of my love.

"Huh?" I heard a few laughes.

"Bella, come on, we are here!" I looked around, only to see a large building of red stone, similar to the Cullens' surrounded by a forest of white, snowy trees. It had a few towers and high windows and in the back I could hear a small river. I felt at home immediately. Edward lead me into the house that was as brightly furnished as the Cullen's, but with fur and other warm things that made you comfortable with the cold outside. In the middle of the living room there was a huge white fireplace.

"Come on, we still have our rooms from when we all lived up here!" Edward said and lifted me up to carry me all the way upstairs. Like in Forks, he had the last room at the very top of the house. As he opened the door for me I gasped. The whole room was black and crimson, but it didn't seem dark. The dresser was black with silver handles and a huge silver-framed mirror. Here, he had a huge black four-poster bed with crimson pillows, that was standing high in the corner of the room, in one of the "towers". It was beautiful and suited him so well. He walked over to his stereo, the same one as in Forks, only with just about a third of his CD-collection, and popped Claire de Lune into the player.

"That's our room for the time being…" He stated.

"It's beautiful." I said. And it was, nontheless, it was overhelming how he stood there with his pale skin in front of the black wall…black was his color.

"I had feared you would find it too dark."

"Black suits you so well…" He laughed and that moment Jasper came in and threw two siutcases to Edward's feet.

"Would have been nice of you to help. I just have to hands, you know, and Alice seven bags." I laughed. That was Alice.

Edward and I spent the next hour unpacking. His black dresser was huge. My clothes problemlessly fit in the left half of it, while his filles the other side. As we were finished, we sat on his bed, just bathng in each others presence.

"May I show you something?" He asked. "It's a beautiful place, especially at sundown." I nodded and he opened the window. He swung himself out and onto the roof of the little tower. Then his face appeared in the window again.

"Give me your hands, Bella." I stepped to the window and sat on the edge, looking down. It was terrifyingly high.

"Edward, that's too high," he took my hands and let me hanging in midair just held by his strong arms. "Edwaaaaaard!" I winced. Usually I didn't have a problem with height, but usually I wasn't just held by a pair of hands that coud drop me any miment.

"Don't you trust me?" He whispered. That made me shut up immediately. I had to do everything to show him my trust in him - a trust that reached beyond my life and soul, literally – or he would never change me during our stay here. When would he do it? I would avoid the topic and not pus him. He should do it when he was ready; I would be ready any time. He sat me on his lap and I stared at the reddish sun sinking below the horizon and letting the snowy trees sparkle liek Edward's skin in the sun. I looked at him. He smiled, but his eyes held something more, something I hadn't ever seen in them, something that made positive shivers run down my spine … he was actually looking worward to something – to being with me forever. I smiled and kissed his lips carefully.

"It's beautiful."

"I know it is. That's why I brought you here."

"Edward? Bella?" Kate asked from inside his – our – room.

"We're coming." He answered. I looked at him questioningly. Stupid mind-reader.

"Carmen and Esme are fighting over who made the better dinner for you." That made me burst out laughing so hard that I didn't even realize he had jumped off the rooftop until I felt the impact of sussenly standing upright in front of the garden backdoor of the kitchen.

"Bella, darling, I made something for you to eat." Carmen greeted me.

"But she can't cook, so I prepaed something as well, just in case." Esme added.they shoved me to the table and sat down two plates in front of me. One held a delicious looking lasagna and the other one held some pizza. Ok, so much for that – I loved italian food.

I took a fork and tasted the lasagna. It was wonderful. When I had eaten it I took a slice of the pizza. It was equally wonderful. I looked up at the waiting eyes of both of them as soon as I was full.

"They were both absolutely wonderful. Thank you, both of you" They beamed and shook hands while this time Edward was the one to burst out laughing. I wonder what they were thinking. Edward lead me out of the kichen.

"You should get some sleep. It's already eleven." Just then I realized how tired I really was, alhough I had slept most of the drive. But I wasn't tired enough to hear Esme's tiny whisper _…that was most likely the last meal I could cook for her and you…_ I yawned to hide my smile and Edward carried me upstairs, waiting on the bed while I took my human minute. In the shower I couldn't stop smiling. Most likely I would be a vampire by the end of the week. Tomorrow was Tuesday, it had taken us a day longer to come here thanks to the little Victoria-incident, and I wasn't sure if they celebrated Easter, but I couldn't imagine him wanting me to be changed over the weekend, they would want to celebrate, the way I know them. So I would have to be done by Saturday evening. Take three days – that would make tomorrow or the day after… I turned the water hotter to relax my muscles when I thought of the pain. I would manage it. For Edward. For forever. As I was done I walked back into our room. Edward covered me with the blanket and told me he loved me. I only heard the first few tunes of my lullaby before I fell asleep.

I woke up to the sun shining through my eyelids. I opened them and saw a sparkling greek god leaning against the window. He wore a dark jeans and a black button-down shirt, but what I instantly realised was a single drop odd dried blood under his chin. He had been hunting tonight. I yawned.

"Good morning, love." He whispered, kissing my cheek lightly. His eyes were lighter than I had ever seen them, a golden shade of honey that sparkled in the sun, together with his skin.

"Morning…" I stood up and went into the bathroom, washing and brushing my hair and dressing in a nice-fitting pair of jeans and a blue shirt – exactly the color Edward liked most on me. I stepped out of the bathroom to find Edward gone, so I decided to go downstairs alone. While pasing the clock I realised it was already twelve, and I really longed for breakfast. As I entered the kitchen I found all vampires gathered there and sat down next to Edward. They were all just walking out and when the saw me said bye and that tey would be back by the end of the day. I looked at Edward.

"They're going hunting." He stated.

"And you" He laughed.

"Already went tonight. I couldn't leave you alone here, could I? Carmen wants to be sure she doesn't have to rebuild the house when she comes back." He said lightly. Once again I was happy that he couldn't read my thoughts. Had he really forgotten my obsrever-qualities? I made myself some cereal and Edward watched me eating. When I was finished we returned to our room where I sat on the bed and Edward on the floor, looking at me.

"So, what do you want to do today?" He asked.

"Just sitting here and looking at you is fine for me…" I answered.

"Just looking at me? How uttely boring." He teased. He lifted me off the bed and sat me on his lap. His hands covered my eyes and his lips caressed my neck. I shivered.

"Are you sure you do not want anything else than just looking at me?" He whisperes, his voice like velvet.

"Edward… if I din't know it better, I would say you are trying to seduce me…" I whispered back.

"It's a pity you know it better, isn't it?" My eyebrows went up an inch.

"Edward! You forget I'm still human!"

"Then it is good that I was just planning on changing that fact…" He whispered directly into my ear. I was instantly on alert. Watch exactly what you are going to say now, Bella…

"Mybe that would be quite good, yes…"

"So?"

"So what?"

"So, what do you think?" He asked. That was it – the question I had only one single chance to answer. The question I had to find the one and only ultimatively correct answer to. I was thinking hard of what to say until it dawned to me, that the truth was the only true way to answer.

"I think that I love you." I whispered with a smile on my lips. He turned me around to face him. What surprised me most was, that he was actually wholeheartdly smiling back at me.

"I love you, too, Bella. This is your last chance to turn back…"

"I would never want that. I'm yours, and only yours. Forever." I vowed. He carefully kissed my lips and then trailed his kisses down my jaw until his cold lips were lying on my throat, just above the vein my blood was running through with a quick pulse. He hesitated.

"Forever?" He asked.

"Forever yours. I love you." I closed my eyes and prepared for the things to come. One second I felt his cool tongue on my skin, the next one I clenched my fists to the sharp pain of his teeth gliding through my skin like it was just a thin layer of paper. Fear cursed through me and I suddenly felt what he had always meant with me being so fragile to him. This very moment he could kill me. I was only so far form absolute death. But I wouldn't regret anything if he did. I would only regret being the cause of the pain he would be in if he actually killed me. But I fought against this thought. I trusted him and I had no right to doubt him. He was strong. He was my love. I did this only for him, and for me, and for us, and for forever. I felt a small sucking on my neck and felt the begining of the fire. The venom had entered my system.

I let out a piercing scream and coughed up blood. Edward pulled back and laid me down on the blankets of our bed. He stroke my hair and licked the rest of my blood from the corners of his mouth. I cringed. My whole throat was on fire by now.

"I'm sorry, Bella" He whispered with a pained expression in his eyes.

"Don't be" I coughed. My voice was hoarse. What would the others think when they came home? Had he planned this? Did they know? Or did he just use the time we had alone?

"Edward…" I whispered, the pain slowly spread into my head and chest.

"Yes, Bella?" He was highly on alert.

"What will the others think? Do they know?" I coughed up blood on the shirt once again.

"Don't worry. It was rather spontanous. I thought I'd better do it without them in the house… Alice surely has seen it by now, but I can't tell you wether she already told the others. I assume Jasper knows because she will have completely freaked out emotionally." He laid his hand on my cheek. I was hot, almost as hot as Jacob, and the cold of his skin was nice.

The fire had consumed my head and I had to shut my burning eyes. My throat was dry and I longed for water, although I didn't know if it would help. I could feel the fire spread from my heart into every direction. I looked at the clock, it said one pm. Three days of this, oh my god, how could I survive this? Then I felt the cold on my forehead and opened the eyes to look into his sorrowful ones which now had a reddish tint to them. I instantly knew a way to survive it: Edward.

"Never leave" I whispered. He kissed the blood from my lips and wiped away the tears that I hadn't noticed falling down my cheeks.

"Never in forever." He vowed. I smiled.

"Bella … my Bella … how can you still smile while enduring this? Look at you and what I have done to you, and still you want me by your side. I'm a monster, and you are so special."

"Edward … cough … I would always want you. What you have done is … making my greatest wish come … cough … true. I can only endure this with the thought of having you by my side. I can stand this … cough … because I do this for the both of us…"

"Hush, Bella. Don't talk so much. I love you, and I still don't understand how I deserve you…" He caressed my cheeks with his cold hands. By the time the fire had consumed all of my body I had a feeling I would die. This was my end. Not the beginning it should be, but the end of all light. What would Edward do when I was dead?

_Evanescence - My last Breath_

_hold on to me love... _

_you know i can´t stay long... _

_all i wanted is to say was i love you and i´m not afraid.. _

_can you hear me ? _

_can you feel me in your arms ? _

"Edward … I will die…" I whispered.

"No Bella, don't say this. I know, it seems like but …" I couldn't hear him anymore. The fire had burned my every sense.

_holding my last breath _

_safe inside myself _

_are all my thoughts of you _

_sweet reptured light _

_it ends here tonight _

"I love you" …

_i´ll miss the winter _

_a world of fragile things _

_look for me in the white forest _

_hiding in a hollow tree (come find me) _

"I'll miss you" …

_i know you hear me _

_i can teste it in your tears _

I could feel he was saying something, but I couldn't understand him, couldn't see him, could only feel …

_holding my last breath _

_safe inside myself _

_are all my thoughts of you _

_sweet raptured light _

_i ends here tonight _

"Don't worry … I'll die happy" …

_closing your eyes to disappear _

_you pray your dreams will leave you here _

_but still you wake and know the truth _

_no one´s there... _

I heard him like through a layer of water in my ears. He was calling for Carlisle, screaming and yelling in frustration. No one could hear him … they were too far away.

_SAyy,... GOOOODNIGHTT _

_don´t be afraid ... _

_calling me calling me as you fade to black ..._

"Goodbye, Edward … I love you …" …

The last thing I ever heard were his tearless sobs.


End file.
